(and Stupid Criminal Tricks)
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Capital
punishment turns the state into a murderer. But
CINNAMINSON,
NJ - If you've recently stolen a large sum of money and don't want people
to suspect you, it's probably not a good idea to drive a brand new $53,000
car to work. 32-year-old Perry Vedder of Philadelphia was confronted after
he rolled in to work behind the wheel of a shiny new Corvette. The armored
car company guard admitted stealing more than $400,000 from the firm following
questioning about the vehicle. Though Vedder had been seen on previous
security cameras entering and leaving the vault during the time of the
theft, the robbery itself was not captured due to convenient camera troubles.
Though the thief was smart enough to avoid the cameras, he wasn't able
to outsmart himself. SAN ANTONIO,
Texas - Diane Zamora, 25, and Steven Mora, 27, will wed despite the fact
they are both convicts being housed in prisons that are 130 miles apart.
The Texas Attorney General's office ruled they could become husband and
wife by marrying stand-ins at seperate ceremonies. Zamora was sentenced
to life after she killed her romantic rival in 1995 in a highly publicized
case. Mora is scheduled to leave prison next March after he was convicted
of threatening someone who put him in prison on an earlier charge. The
two have never met. They began writing letters to each other after Mora
saw Zamora on television. The honeymoon is scheduled for the year 2036.
Unfortunately, there will be no contact between the two until then, because
Zamora is in a maximum security prison. A Texas prison spokesman confirmed,
"There are no conjugal visits in Texas prisons." Spiders Keeping Inmates Awake JONESBORO,
Ark. - As most people would expect, the conditions inside jail cells can
be pretty harsh. However, a new hardship has presented itself for inmates
of a county jail in northeast Arkansas: spiders. At least 15 inmates have
recently been bitten by what appears to be the dangerous brown recluse
spider. The bite from one of these arachnids can cause a rash, swell and
flu-like symptoms and, in rare cases, kidney failure, seizures and even
coma. Though exterminators and prison officials are doing the best they
can to get rid of the pests, the spiders have proven themselves hard to
kill. Burglar Caught With His Pants Down KANSAS CITY,
Mo. - A would-be burglar was caught by police with his pants down - literally.
Officers were called to the scene at Clyde's Auto Sales shop to find the
half-naked man with his pants around his ankles while he was stuck in
the side of the building. Apparently, the 36-year-old, 245-pound man over-estimated
the size of a hole in the wall as he tried to enter. The man told police
that he was just looking for a place to sleep, and that his pants had
fallen down sometime in the night. After a chainsaw was brought on the
scene, the bare-assed man was cuffed, arrested and may face burglary charges.
Attention
all job seekers: If you plan to rob a business, it's not a good idea to
try and apply for a job there the next day. Twenty-year-old Anthony Kaleb
Phillips learned this lesson the hard way when he was arrested during
an interview for a job with a construction company in Stillwater, Oklahoma
last week. Employees recognized him as the same person seen on a surveillance
tape when he robbed the business the day before. According to court officials,
Phillips stole a $100 tool along with about $1,000 worth of items from
a worker's car parked at the office. He is expected to be arraigned this
week on burglary charges. Jury Gives Shoe Beating Charges the Boot NEW YORK
- In a follow-up to a recent bizarre story about a woman who beat her
ex-lover to death with her shoe, the jury has thrown out the manslaughter
charges against her. The accused, Anna Rhinehart, told police she fought
her assailant in self-defense after he punched her in the mouth, knocking
out her two front teeth. According to her lawyer, Darren Fields, "She
didn't do anything to contribute to Mr. Bonds' death and the grand jury
looked at the evidence and came back with the decision." It appears
that the shoe of justice has slipped onto the right foot in this case. MONTPELLIER,
France - You have to appreciate the ingenuity of this idea. A 22-year-old
Frenchman has been fabricating barcode labels on his home computer and
attaching them to products in his local stores for significant discounts.
He got a little greedy, though. Suspicions arose when he priced himself
a 2,000 euro garage-door motor for a mere 160 euros. According to the
police, the suspect used the Internet to re-sell the goods he had obtained. TEXAS --
When a noise disturbance brought Longview police officers to a local hotel,
they discovered a woman covered in blood and her boyfriend walking around
naked. The man claimed he wasn't wearing clothing because he was making
a porno movie, however, police did not find any video equipment. He fought
with the officers and also defecated and urinated on them during the struggle.
The woman, whose throat was cut, was not seriously injured and is expected
to recover. The man will be charged with aggravated assault, aggravated
assault on a peace officer and assault on a peace officer. Fake Silicone Gets Transgender Arrested Houston police
have arrested a transgender who they say injected other transgenders with
what was supposed to be pure silicone...but it wasn't. Guadalupe Camerena,
a man who looks like a woman, was trying to make other men look like women
by injecting them with brake fluid. "Any type of liquid silicone
that could be found at any type of auto parts or hardware store is what
essentially is being injected into these people," said Captain Steve
Smith with the Houston Police Department. One of Camerena's clients died
of asphyxiation three days after the injection, a dangerous procedure
that transgenders go through so they don't have to pay for much more expensive
plastic surgery. Detectives say Camarena charged clients between $200
and $400 for each procedure. Krispy Kreme Truck Held for Ransom DETROIT --
A pair of thieves with a sweet tooth stole a Krispy Kreme truck and then
held it for ransom. During a delivery outside a gas station, the truck
driver heard a noise coming from the truck's trailer, and when he jumped
in to investigate, the truck began to move. The vehicle, carrying 1,800
doughnuts and some equipment, kept on moving after the driver jumped out
of the trailer. The crooks called a Krispy Kreme manager on the company's
Nextel phone two hours later and told him if they wanted the truck back,
they would have to pay $100. The manager got the police department on
the phone in Detroit. The cops found one suspect at Warren and Southfield
roads in Detroit with a bag of doughnuts in his hand. The other suspect
was located carrying the company's phone. However, the truck was nowhere
to be found. PINCONNING,
Mich. -- Police didn't have much trouble catching an accused thief as
he fled the scene in a child size All Terrain Vehicle. In fact, not only
was it a child's toy that could barely carry his weight, it ran out of
gas, the Bay City Times reported. The man is accused of breaking into
a neighbor's shed to steal a gallon of gasoline to power the tiny ATV,
which he drove to a nearby party store, while dragging a bag of empty
bottles he had planned on redeeming for cash. The suspect parked his tiny
vehicle in some weeds and went into the store, where he allegedly took
a bottle of beer and drank it in the restroom, police said. Store employees
called police, who spotted him as he emerged from the weeds on his tiny
four-wheeler. The suspect was charged with breaking and entering and shoplifting. State Fair Employee on the Lam MONROE, Wash.
- An Evergreen State Fair employee led police on a crazy chase through
the fair after he tried to steal money from another carnival worker and
then went into a women's restroom and exposed himself. When deputies arrived,
he put on his pants, took off his shirt, and went through a window in
one of the bathroom's stalls. He groped women as he ran, and then scaled
a chain-link fence to U.S. 2, where he attempted to steal a car from a
woman. When that didn't work, he fled across the highway to a train and
tried to jump aboard, despite the fact it was traveling about 45 miles
per hour. After being knocked out from his close encounter with the train,
he was taken to a medical center in Seattle with multiple fractures. Stolen Snake Bites Him in the… A pet store
thief found that trying to steal two tiger python snakes from the Animal
Trax pet store in New Jersey had more than the usual consequences. The
thief put one python in a pants pockets and the snake bit him in his private
parts as he drove away from the store, the Courier-Post in Cherry Hill,
N.J., reports. The snake bite isn't poisonous, but the 20-year-old man,
who declined medical treatment, says he had rigged canvas bags to the
pockets of his slacks to conceal the snakes. The snake got out of the
bag, wrapped itself around the man's leg and began to squeeze it before
biting him, said Greenwich Township Detective Sgt. Joseph M. Giordano
Jr. OWENSBORO,
Ky. - A woman was charged with stealing 50 antique glass eyes from a hospital
display case on Christmas Eve. Melissa Jane Wink was recorded by a surveillance
camera as she snatched the eyes from an exhibit of medical artifacts at
Owensboro Medical Health System. The value of the eyes was $2,500 and
they were recovered at a home Wink was staying in. Police Detective Ed
Krahwinkel said he didn't know why someone would steal the eyes. "Honestly,
I don't think she knew what to do with them," Krahwinkel said. "Being
a high profile case - and a used item - I think she was stuck with them."
According to physician Barney Elliott, the eyes were most likely made
at the start of the 20th century or earlier and came in a variety of colors. Burglar Survives 10-Story Jump A woman detained
by security guards for a burglary escaped via a 10th-floor window of a
Times Square building in New York City and survived. New York City police
have not disclosed the name of the 19-year-old woman, who sneaked into
the offices of an apparel company that sells hip-hop clothing endorsed
by rappers Jay-Z and Ermine, according to Nesi Apparel's Jackie Brennan.
"She was looking through people's clothing. I guess she was trying
to steal people's wallets," Brennan said. The woman escaped through
a window, fell or jumped from the ledge down eight stories onto a second-floor
scaffolding, the New York Post reports. Listed in critical condition at
Bellevue Hospital, the woman has two broken legs, a broken arm and a broken
hand. Stupid Tip-Off Lands Man in Jail MADRID -
A robber's own stupidity has landed him in jail after he blew his cover
by making a prank call to a television crime program about an unrelated
murder case. "Perhaps motivated by a desire to be in the spotlight,
he had the arrogance to call a television program to give information
about another man wanted by police ... but he got himself arrested instead,"
Madrid police said in a statement. The 34-year-old man, wanted in six
robbery investigations around Spain, aroused suspicion in police when
they tried to get in touch with him to obtain more information and found
he had changed mobile phones. They eventually caught up with the man,
who had previously been arrested 44 times for robbery. A Crack Full of Crack Creates Standoff In perhaps one of the touchiest police standoffs of all time, a 20-year-old female suspected of dealing drugs battled police for 10 hours after she shoved some crack in a crack of her own. After being spotted, the woman reached into her pants and a batch of suspected crack cocaine "disappeared". Unable to convince the woman to produce the evidence, she was taken to a San Francisco hospital for the drug's extraction. However, non-compliance from the suspect and hospital staff forced a legal standoff that spanned almost half a day. Finally, after obtaining a "body cavity search warrant", police persuaded the suspect to give up and take out the contraband herself.
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