It
seems that Robert Bowling, Jr., 17, was attempting to break into a local
pizzeria chain. His body was found at Cassano's Pizza and Subs by a maintenance
worker checking a faulty oven. Apparently Mr. Bowling slid down the exhaust
pipe of the oven, head first with his hands over his head, and got stuck.
The pipe was 18 inches in diameter. He died from asphyxiation. [AP, St.
Louis] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis
market. When the clerk threatened to call police, Puelo grabbed a hot
dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying for it. Police
found him unconscious in front of the store: paramedics removed the six-inch
wiener from his throat, where it had choked him to death. "This
is a robb. Plouas put outut teller. No one will git hurt. Thank,"
read the note handed to a teller at the Washington Mutual Bank. When she
couldn't decipher it, the would-be robber fled. Accused Bank Robber Drops Name SALT LAKE CITY - It
wouldn't be surprising if Johnny Lee Miller got upset at the mention of
his anger-management course. FBI agents seeking a man who took $34,804
from First Utah Bank on New Year's Eve caught up with Miller after finding
his course graduation certificate in the bank's vault, said U.S. Attorney
Paul Warner. The FBI said Miller slid a gun out from an envelope and demanded
of a teller, "Where is your money?" The suspect took the gun
with him but left behind the envelope, which also contained the certificate.
It was issued by the Utah Department of Corrections. Lemon Juice Invisibility Trick In 1995,
McArthur Wheeler walked into two Pittsburgh banks and robbed them in broad
daylight, with no visible attempt at disguise. He was arrested later that
night, less than an hour after videotapes of him taken from surveillance
cameras were broadcast on the 11 o'clock news. When police later showed
him the surveillance tapes, Mr. Wheeler stared in incredulity. "But
I wore the juice," he mumbled. Apparently, Mr. Wheeler was under
the impression that rubbing one's face with lemon juice rendered it invisible
to videotape cameras. No Way to hold up a Restaurant WEST MEMPHIS, Arkansas It wasn't hard for police to find the suspect in a cafe robbery: He left in a wheelchair and wrote a threatening note on the back of his personal check. The man made a gesture as though he were hiding a gun under his jacket, police said Tuesday, and the waitress quickly gave him $120. He quickly wheeled out of the restaurant. Police were able to
capture the suspect, but they already had a pretty good idea who he was.
The note he allegedly passed to the waitress was on the back of a personalized
check bearing his name, address and telephone number. Edward Bohanon,
42, was charged with aggravated robbery. BILOXI, MS - The criminal
mind is a terrible thing to waste. This time we have a man phoning a Biloxi,
MS casino and threatening to shoot people inside the casino unless they
immediately delivered $100,000 to his home. He naturally gave the casino
personnel his address, presumably expecting an armored truck to make the
delivery. Police went to the address given and arrested him on the spot.
Presumably he is still waiting for the cash. Alberto J. Vasquez
did pretty well when donned a mask and robbed a Dunkin' Donuts last week.
He and a friend made off with over $1400. But he did some dumb stuff too.
Alberto used to work at this same Dunkin' Donuts, and an employee thought
he recognized Alberto's voice during the robbery. He was even more certain
when Alberto's accomplice called him by his nickname "A.J."
Police then followed a trail of coins and footprints leading directly
to his apartment building, two doors down from the shop. You have the
right to remain stupid... A true story
out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your
muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note
to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note
and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left
the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting
a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would
either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank
of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and
left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back
at Bank of America. A man walked
into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from
the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw
a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He
told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said,
"Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he
was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe
him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the
man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then
ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police
and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later. A pair of
Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The
first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him. Never Throw a Brick into a Plexi-glass Window Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made
of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Robbing a Burger King in Ypsilanti Ann Arbor:
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 am, flashed a gun and demanded cash.
The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. British Thieves Bungle Robbery SOUTH SHIELDS,
England - Three armed robbers planning to raid a travel agency, missed
their intended target and burst into the optician's office next door,
waving a knife and an imitation sawed-off shotgun. Realizing they were
in the wrong office, they made a hasty exit and finally made it to the
travel agent's. They demanded to know where the safe was, but lost their
nerve and, instead of a large haul of travelers checks, they ended up
with a whisky bottle full of mostly foreign coins donated to charity.
Their getaway car then ran out of gas and they abandoned it, leaving behind
obvious clues which quickly led to their arrest. Big Mac Rules Foil Aussie Holdup SYDNEY,
Australia - The North Shore Times News crime column reported that a man
walked into Brookvale McDonalds at 8:50AM, flashed a gun and demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down because she said she couldn't open the
cash register without a food order. When the man ordered a Big Mac, the
clerk said they weren't available until 10:30am as only the breakfast
menu was on offer. Frustrated, the man walked away. OGDEN, Utah
- A couple of thieves came up with a crafty approach for stealing from
an ATM -- they took the whole thing. Ogden police say suspects stole a
backhoe, hooked it up to a freestanding ATM, uprooted it and hauled it
down the road on Monday. Problem was, they couldn't figure out how to
get the money out of it. Bank Robber Leaves Business Card PLANTATION, Florida
- Alfred Fiser will check his pockets a little more carefully after he
dropped a business card and a blank check during a bank robbery near Fort
Lauderdale. Fiser pulled an envelope from his shirt pocket after a teller
at the World Savings Bank that he was robbing told him there were no envelopes
to put the money in. He then fled with an undetermined amount of money,
not noticing the discarded items on the floor. Police used the items to
trace Fiser to his home where they arrested him for grand theft and bank
robbery. Thief Leaves With Underwear Instead of Cash BERLIN -
An unknown man held up a clothes shop in eastern Germany. Unfortunately
for the perpetrator there was no cash in the register. That, however,
was not enough to stop a determined German with a gun, so he demanded
underwear instead. According to the owner of the Clothes Chest store he
escaped with about $188 worth of tights and assorted undergarments. Police
are puzzled as to how exactly they are supposed to search for the stolen
items. Gas Station Robbers Run Out of Gas EAST PEORIA, Ill.
- Next time maybe these guys will remember to fill up the getaway car
when they go on a crime spree. According to Police Detective Pete Fisher,
Ricky Boice, 24, and Steven Gosnell, 42, were caught Wednesday morning
after their getaway was foiled by an empty fuel tank. The irony is that
they ran out of gas about half a mile away from a gas station they had
just robbed. The men walked a half-mile to another station and bought
gas to refill the tank. Police said they nabbed the suspects when they
returned to the stranded getaway car. SHWANEE, Kansas -
A Shawnee convenience store clerk will remember to use duct tape next
time he decides to rip off his employers. The 19-year-old clerk at the
Texaco Starmart told police early Thursday that a man had called the store
and ordered him to tape over the camera lenses. Then the man supposedly
walked in, pointed a pistol at the clerk and demanded money. The story
would have been believable, had the clerk not used transparent tape to
cover the lens of the camera. According to Shawnee Police Lt. Mitch Brim,
"It's one of those things where (the videotape) looks a little fuzzy,
but I don't see any robbery in there." Within hours, police were
writing a report describing how the clerk had staged the crime himself.
They released the clerk and planned to send a report to the district attorney's
office. Carjacking Foiled by Stick-Shift EDMONTON,
Canada - That's a Canuck for you. A teenager had to abandon a car-jacking
because he couldn't use the vehicle's manual stick-shift. The young man
approached a woman driver in a Toronto parking lot, pulled a knife and
told her to get out. But once he got in he was stymied by the manual transmission.
After trying unsuccessfully to threaten another person into driving the
car for him, he gave up and fled. The suspect was arrested later while
trying to hijack yet another car. 41-Year-Old Mother Holds Up Bank with an Axe STOCKHOLM
- A 41-year-old Swedish mother of five admitted in court that she was
panicked after her Swedish information technology stocks fell heavily
and did not know how she would provide for her children. So she robbed
a bank in neighboring Finland by threatening staff with an axe. She succeeded
in obtaining 20,000 Finnish markka ($2,911) from a cashier but was overpowered
outside by a man who had seen her enter the bank wearing a mask and carrying
an axe. The woman is currently appealing against a one-year prison sentence
to the high court in Rovaniemi, Finland. Robber Leaves More Than He Takes LOUISIANA
- There is one bandit in Louisiana who had better give up armed robbery
until he learns how to count. The man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20
bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,
which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk
and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash
he got from the drawer was $15. In Too Much of a Hurry to Read the Sign SAGINAW,
Michigan - Reading directions would have been helpful for a thief who
robbed a restaurant in Saginaw, Michigan. The would be robber failed to
escape after he pushed with all of his might on a door that was clearly
marked "pull." According to police, the man eventually discovered
his mistake, but it was already too late. A Smattering of Stupid Stickups A Houston
armed robber was finally caught after the eighth time he robbed the same
U-Totem store in three months. It seemed he never wore a mask and kept
holding up the same clerk. I'll Take All Your Cash and a Whopper With Cheese MANCHESTER,
Connecticut - Apparently criminals have to eat too. A robber held up a
popular fast food chain at gunpoint then ordered the cook to prepare him
a Whopper with extra cheese. The gunman reportedly walked into the fast
food shop in Manchester, Connecticut, and went straight to the restroom.
Moments later he walked back up front wearing a bandana over his face
and brandishing a hand gun. He proceeded to herd the crew into a walk-in
freezer and then took the manager to open the safe. With the money in
hand, he walked the manager back to the freezer, then order the cook out
and ordered him to make him a Whopper with cheese. Police are still trying
to find the thief before he runs out of money or the next snack attack
occurs. Robber Shoots Himself in the End Paderborn,
Germany - Peter Howeler has been dubbed the *Bungling Bandit* after entering
a bank carrying a pistol. In his attempt to hide it from the guard on
duty, he shoved the firearm into his back pocket, discharging it into
his left buttock. After being rushed to a local hospital, he was later
charged with attempted robbery. Robber Exchanges Hostage for a Sandwich MILWAUKEE,
Wisconsin - Only in Wisconsin would a robber give up a hostage in exchange
for a chicken sandwich and a soda. A knife-wielding robber stormed into
a Milwaukee shop and grabbed a young woman, threatening bodily harm unless
staff members handed over some cash. The robber revealed during negotiations
with shop worker Jaspal Singh that he was hungry. Singh gave the would-be
robber a sandwich and a can of pop in exchange for the girl while discretely
dialing the police. The robber sat and ate until the police arrived to
arrest him. Guns Work Better With the Correct Ammo WHEELING,
West Virginia - Brian Lee Moore, 28, was jailed on charges of attempted
murder, attempted robbery and malicious wounding after trying to hold
up an adult sex toy shop with a stolen rifle, loaded with the wrong ammunition.
Sheriff's deputies say the man stole a rifle from a house in Wheeling,
then ripped off a box of shells from a Wal-Mart. Not realizing the shells
were the wrong size, he took the gun to an adult sex toy shop where he
demanded cash. In the process, investigators say, he pulled the trigger,
but the rifle misfired because it had the wrong size shells. The clerk
managed to subdue the man and hold him until deputies arrived. Bank Robber Captured in Tanning Bed FORT WORTH,
Texas - An alleged bank robber should have his police report "bronzed"
after he was caught in a tanning salon. According to Fort Worth Police
Department spokesman Duane Paul, the 17-year-old suspect was apprehended
in his underwear, ready for a tanning session. The young man reportedly
used a toy gun to rob a bank and then ran into the Total Tan salon to
elude police. The owner became suspicious because the suspect was out
of breath and called police after ushering him into a tanning bed. Drinking and Bank Robbery Don't Mix SAN
FRANCISCO, California - The allegedly drunk Scot Alan Beane, 37, set a
new standard for criminals when he left a resume and receipt with his
name on it at a bank he robbed. Police officers found Beane because the
resume listed his previous address, and he has since been charged with
robbing four banks totaling over $13,000. He originally left a Western
Union money-transfer receipt with his name on it at one bank in March,
but his luck ran out during the following bank robbery when he actually
left his resume behind. San Francisco police Lt. Bruce Marovich told the
Chronicle, "Here's the story -- you shouldn't drink or take drugs
and drive. You shouldn't rob banks and do the same thing. That's what
he was doing." FORT WORTH,
Texas. Now here's a Taco Bell promotion in the making. Lakount Maddox,
17, allegedly tried to hold up a Taco Bell restaurant in Fort Worth shortly
after midnight. Employees claim the young man was riding a bicycle when
he apparently brandished a gun and demanded the cash in the register.
He also ordered a chalupa to go. What he didn't know was while one restaurant
worker prepared his meal, another employee was calling 911. When the police
arrived, Maddox was still waiting outside the window waiting for his food.
He then charged at the officers on his bicycle and waved what was later
identified as a toy pellet gun at them. He was shot twice, one in the
arm and once in the leg, and was taken to a local hospital where he was
listed in good condition. Coffee Break Trips Up Mobile Phone Store Robbers KUALA LUMPUR,
Malaysia - A gang of four men responsible for 20 cases of motorcycle theft,
rape, and armed robbery were caught taking a coffee break this week immediately
after robbing a mobile phone shop. The foursome held two employees at
gunpoint and took an unsubstantiated number of phones and cash before
escaping. But they didn't get too far. The owner was about to fill out
a police report when he noticed the thieves' car at a nearby drink stall.
The owner contacted the police, and they arrested the four without any
problems. Fleeing the scene did not make it high on the priority list
for this foursome. British Bank Robber Leaves 'em in Stitches MANCHESTER,
England - Tellers at the Royal Bank of Scotland noticed one conspicuous
customer wearing a fur hat and heavy coat on one of the hottest days of
the year. His odd attire was explained when he robbed one of the tellers
getting away with $8,500. He had just made it outside to his getaway vehicle,
a bicycle, when a die pack hidden among the cash exploded, knocking him
off the bike. As he scooped up the money, his face became visible to the
bank's security camera. He persisted, though, and started off on the bike
again, only to hit a curb, fall and drop more of the money. He ended up
dropping two-thirds of the money behind trying to make the getaway. One
officer said, "His actions once he left the bank were bordering on
the comical." Handicapped
Parking Zone A Bad Idea
Holding Up a Bank for... A Big Mac and Cigarettes LOWELL, Indiana - A gunman identified by police as David Potchen, 40, entered Centier Bank early in the morning this week with odd intentions. Sheriff Miguel Arredondo said, "He had just come in with the shotgun and told them to call the police and they were going to be there for a while." Potchen took nine people hostage, but began releasing them in ones and twos after the police delivered his real desire: Big Macs and cigarettes. The police brought these goods to him around 10:00 a.m., and the ordeal was over just after noon. No one was injured, and police are still unsure about what prompted the event. Emailed to
us from a Lowell resident -- the following explanation: Gimme
The Money or I'll... Hit You With This Ravioli
Robbers Get Away With Empty Cash Box SOUTH AFRICA
- A would-be group of robbers tried to hold up a security van, but escaped
with nothing but an empty cash box. After they ambushed the van, they
tried breaking in with everything possible from picks and hammers to crowbars.
Though there were three cash boxes, they chose the only empty one. Pretoria
police indicate that the robbers had crashed into a Fidelity Guard van
and another car stopped behind it to enclose it in. The estimated 15 robbers
were able to flea the scene, and the lone empty box was found nearby. Underpants Disguise Inadequate to Protect Fool OSLO, Norway
- A drunken man thought he had the perfect plan to rob a nearby post office.
The 47-year-old robber pulled a pair of underpants over his face and passed
the post office clerk a note saying "This is a robbery." Unfortunately,
he also wrote his wife's name and personal details on the back of the
demand note. Not too slick. Police awakened him a couple days later at
his house. The man claims to not remember robbing the post office, but
thought he may have done something stupid when he woke up with a large
sum of money and saw a picture of a man in the local newspaper wearing
underpants on his head. Remember: Don't Hold Up Your Own Bank VIENNA, Austria
- If you are stupid enough to rob a bank, one would think to not hold
up your personal bank where you are a customer. This line of thinking
didn't stop a 28-year-old Austrian man, though. He robbed the Salzburg
branch of Austrian Savings Bank where he was a known customer. Nonetheless,
he held up the bank at gunpoint and escaped with $20,070. A bank employee
recognized him and police soon detained him at a local bar. The robber
had already had five bottles of celebratory champagne, but did not resist
arrest. Robber Calls Police on Himself - On Purpose NORWAY -
A 27-year-old would-be robber panicked in the middle of a heist. He had
intended to blow up Gensidige NOR's cash machine, but realized he had
left incriminating clues to his identity. So, he called the police on
himself. They obligingly agreed to meet him at the bank. Trond Aune of
Romerike police said, "He left revealing 'trade marks' at the scene
of the crime. He was also worried about the dynamite he'd left behind."
Police blocked off the area while they waited for bomb experts to arrive
at the scene. The man was arrested. Convenience Store Robbery Foiled by Clerk SPARTANBURG,
S.C. - A man armed with a gun was foiled in his attempt to rob a convenience
store by a quick-thinking clerk. Kim Meredith, 34, entered the Li'L Cricket
and held the clerk, Lee Johnson, a gunpoint. While Meredith sacked
the store's video poker machines for $720 a sheriff's deputy responding
to a silent alarm approached the front door. Johnson asked if he could
go outside to tell the deputy the store was closed and Meredith agreed.
Johnson bolted the instant he hit the door and Meredith was arrested by
the deputy moments later. Reporting the Shotgun Stolen Was His Mistake VISTA, San
Diego - A 19-year-old Valley Center Man was sentenced to eight years in
prison Wednesday when he reported that his father's shotgun had been stolen.
Evan Williams was reportedly convicted earlier this year when witnesses
at the Corral Liquor Store in Valley Center testified that he had come
into the store carrying a shotgun and wearing a long coat and ski mask.
After handing over $100 to Williams, the clerk at the store allegedly
grabbed the barrel of the gun and pulled it away. Meanwhile, he ripped
the mask and the coat off Williams, who then ran off. Williams made a
huge blunder the next day when be reported the theft of his father's shotgun,
which detectives already had in possession from the robbery. Hiding in Plain View Doesn't Always Work LONGVIEW,
Washington - Edmond D. Alexander, 54, believed that the best place to
hide is in plain view. After pulling his caper he purchased a beer at
a convenience store and sat down on a park bench about 100 yards from
the bank, hoping his casual attitude would throw off suspicion. It didn't
work. Sgt. Ed Jones saw that Alexander fit the description of the bank
robber and walked across the street to arrest him. According to Jones,
the robber was "pretty blasé about the whole thing." Jones went
on to explain that Alexander held up a teller at the U.S. Bank by putting
his hand in his sweater pocket and pointing his finger at her. The money
was found on Alexander's person when they arrested him. Bank Robber Rats Himself Out on Stage MACON, Georgia
- Glenn Matthews committed the perfect crimes: he robbed three banks in
Macon, Georgia, between December 1999 and January this year and got away
with them. Until he told on himself, that is. The 43-year-old Georgian
performed at the Macon Comedy Cafe in front of 300 people and told them
he was the town's so-called "bicycle bandit." He named himself
this after explaining the choice of getaway vehicle he used in the robberies.
Though the audience laughed at the confession and thought it was all part
of the act, club owner Mike Smith, a former police officer, knew Matthews
was serious. Smith told the Macon District Court, "The audience really
burst out laughing. They thought it was part of the skit. I knew the guy
was serious." Matthews was arrested shortly thereafter. Wait... You've Got My Description Wrong DES MOINES,
Iowa - A 34-year-old Iowa man was arrested after he returned to the shop
he just robbed and corrected the description the cashier was giving the
police. Cashier Harpal Singh of the Des Moines shop was right in the middle
of giving a description of alleged robber Steven Hebron to police over
the phone, but had some of his features mixed up. Hebron, who had returned
to get the wallet he dropped in the store, stopped her and told her the
correct attributes. Police arrived within minutes to arrest him. Never Hold up a Bank Where You Just Opened an Account NEW YORK
- The winner of the most stupid criminal of the week goes to...Jack Schreiner
of New York! The 30-year-old pulled a smooth move when he wanted to open
a bank account - at the same bank he robbed four days prior. Schreiner
reportedly walked away with almost $8000 from the Chase Manhattan bank
in New York. When he returned to open the account, one of the clerks recognized
him from one of the surveillance tapes she had seen and notified security. Robbers Leave After Being Completely Ignored BELGIUM -
A gang of three would-be armed robbers entered a bowling hall with high
hopes of a good score. The hall was so busy and packed with customers
that no one even heard the robbers demands. As they shouted a demand for
money from the till and waved their rifles, employees kept serving the
customers and filling drinks. One server said, "We were so busy...we
had really no time to find out what they wanted. It was only after they
left and one visitor asked why they were wearing weapons, we realized
they were robbers." HALLANDALE
BEACH, Florida - When a would-be bank robber approached a bank teller,
he expected her to fork over all her money. Instead, she didn't even realize
he was trying to rob her. She couldn't read his handwritten note demanding
cash. The teller then asked the customer what he wanted, but "He
started speaking in English and Spanish, and she didn't understand. When
this started a commotion, he panicked and quickly walked out of the bank
and didn't get any money," said Police Capt. Chris Hock. The man
didn't give up, though. He tried his luck at another bank, where he struck
gold with a more carefully written note. This time the teller gave him
the cash. Robbers Thwarted by 76-Year-Old Vet STOCKTON,
Calif. - When two men held up a Bank of America branch in Stockton, California,
they didn't plan on having to face Edward Christopher. The 76-year-old
WWII vet saw the men taking money from a teller and moved to stop them.
He didn't take any guff from the Krauts and he wasn't about to take it
from these two whipper-snappers. The three men struggled and Christopher
managed to rip one bag away from the thieves before they fled with an
undisclosed amount of cash. In an interview Christopher said he's not
particularly fond of police, reporters or even Bank of America, but he
likes bank robbers even less. "I was trained to kill," he said,
"and I've never been deprogrammed." He Should Have Stayed With Plumbing CLAIRTON,
Pittsburgh - A plumber in Pittsburgh must have been sniffing too much
pipe dope when he decided to rob a string of convenience stores. Robert
Peter Nelson, 21, might have gotten away with it, had the name "Nelson
Plumbing and Heating" not been plastered in big bold letters along
with the telephone number on his van. Witnesses at the three convenience
stores described the van with the telephone number for incredulous police,
who arrested Nelson as he got out of the van in Clairton on Sunday. An
officer was familiar with where the van was usually parked. Holding
Up a Bank for His Own Money TANDIL,
Argentina - An Argentinian man robbed a bank for his own money. As a regular
customer, he tried withdrawing money to pay for medicine, but was refused
due to Argentina's economic crisis. Banks are not allowing customers to
withdraw large sums of money at one time. He didn't give up, though. The
customer visited the bank a second time, this time with a grenade. Bank
employees then called the head office in Buenos Aires for permission to
give the man money from his savings account. After several threats from
the robber, they relinquished the cash. The bank clerks immediately called
the police, and the suspect was arrested. He may later face charges of
extortion and possessing military equipment, but is under house arrest
for now. 30
Minutes Too Long to Wait for Pizza A
Bank Robbing Spree Will Cheer You Up Employing the 'Evil Twin' Excuse Fails FRANKLINTON,
Louisiana - When William Dykes recently robbed a convenience store, he
already had his line of defense worked out - he would blame it on his
evil twin. Dykes was charged with burglary and possession of stolen property
after he was caught with items such as cigars, alcohol, and cigarettes
from the store. He claimed innocence, blaming the robbery on his evil
twin. James Hartman from the sheriff's department said, "When confronted
with the photographs, Dykes said the perpetrator is his evil twin brother
who follows him around, dresses in identical clothes and commits crimes
using his identity." Dykes' sister dismissed all claims. She admitted
they have another brother, but "he's not a twin, and he's certainly
not evil," she said. Robber
Forgets Mask, Turns Himself In MOUNT LAUREL,
New Jersey - Another stupid criminal bites the dust. When high school
history teacher Alvin Jumpp got behind on bill payments and owed $2,560
in late taxes, did he work overtime? Did he take a second job? Or perhaps
do odd jobs for extra cash? He did none of these. Instead, Jumpp robbed
his own bank. Dressed in black with white gauze covering his face, Jumpp
robbed the Farmers & Mechanics Bank branch in Mount Laurel in April.
While waving a handgun wrapped in either plastic or paper according to
the FBI, he told two tellers "You have 10 seconds." He left
the bank with over $10,000, but one of the tellers recognized Jumpp's
low, raspy voice. Shortly following the robbery, Jumpp deposited some
of the money in his other Farmers & Mechanics accounts, paid his late
taxes, and even made an advance payment on the next quarter's bill. The
FBI discovered the white gauze mask at Jumpp's house later that week,
and one of his bank deposits included "bait bills." Jumpp has
been arrested, and a bail hearing was scheduled this week. Bank Robber is Locked in Vault JAPAN - A
man tried to pull off the classic bank robbery, but ended up locked in
the vault. The man, who was thought to be Brazilian, was armed with a
knife and demanded cash from tellers at the UFJ bank in Tsu on Honshu
Island. The tellers placated the robber and took him to the bank vault.
That's when they turned the tables on the buffoon and were able to lock
him inside. Employees immediately called the police and told them the
robber had "dropped his guard." No one was injured. Except for
the robber's ego. Robber Busted Retrieving Car Keys ITALY - A
45-year-old man in Italy thought he had gotten away with the perfect robbery.
He successfully held up employees at a post office in Bruno d'Asti in
northern Italy and left with a bag of money. He didn't get very far, though
- he left his car keys on a staff member's till. He hurriedly returned
to the post office, but employees had already locked the door and refused
to let him in. An employee described the scene, "He was desperate
and almost started crying, begging us to open the door, when police finally
arrived." The robber was arrested on the spot and is prison awaiting
a court hearing. Not the Cab Ride They Had in Mind MONTVILLE,
Connecticut - Cab drivers often meet...colorful characters, and Wednesday
night was no different for Yellow Cab driver Dan Ricketts. He picked up
two people, Gloria Smith, 49, and Reginald Corey, 44, from Dunkin' Donuts,
and the patrons asked him to pick up their friend from a nearby gas station.
Ricketts became alarmed when their "friend", Calvin Branham,
33, jumped in the cab and yelled "Go, go go!" instead of giving
a new destination. "I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach,"
said the driver. Fortunately, Ricketts heard a startling announcement
on his police scanner. Police indicated there had just been a robbery
at a gas station and that a cab had been seen in the area, but the three
customers didn't hear it. Ricketts cleverly drove the three stooges to
the police station, where Smith and Corey were easily arrested. Branham
managed to escape but was arrested after a half-hour chase through the
woods. They are now being held on several charges. 2nd Time is No More Successful Than First ILLINOIS
- A 42-year-old, Wood River, Ill. man was sentenced to 12 years in prison
after robbing the same pharmacy he hit 20 years ago. Robert Crosno's 1982
robbery attempt also failed. He served six years in prison. The kicker?
The clerk he held-up in 1982, Vicki Meyers, still worked at the pharmacy
this time around. Meyers is not happy Crosno could be paroled after six
years. "In six years I won't be retired yet," she said. Bank Robber Asks for Funds Transfer STOCKHOLM
- A 47-year-old man walks into the post office of a small town and tells
the cashier he is armed and demands a bag of cash -- plus 350 million
crowns ($37.2 million) to be paid into his bank account. He then hands
her his account number on a piece of paper. Sounds like a joke? Oh, but
it's not. This happened in a small town in southern Sweden. Police had
no problem finding the robber and arresting him. SYDNEY -
During an attempted robbery in Queensland, Australia, a pile of dog poop,
believe it or not, aided police in the capture of the suspect. According
to extensive forensic research, police were able to match a pattern of
excrement located at the crime scene with that found on the shoe of 26-year-old
Jacob Smith. The fecal findings simplified the case a great deal for local
authorities. "It's not rocket science. It's as plain as the ***t
on your shoe," quoted police sergeant Alan Piper. After admitted
smell tests were performed, authorities were able to sniff out the perpetrator. NORTH MIAMI
BEACH, Florida - In a valiant effort, a bank robber in Florida made off
with a bag of cash after a couple of painful mishaps. Not only did the
man accidentally shoot himself with the semi-automatic pistol that he
threatened the cashier with, he was then hit by a van as he fled the bank.
The man was helped out from underneath the vehicle by unsuspecting pedestrians
and proceeded to escape in an awaiting getaway car. Police are now hot
on the case in search of a rich man with a bullet wound and tire tracks. BERLIN, Germany
- It can be quite difficult to rob a bank, as well as performing many
other tasks, without being able to see. The criminal who is now deemed
"Germany's dumbest criminal" walked into a bank armed with a
plastic knife and a toy pistol. The kicker was the burlap bag he put over
his dead to disguise himself. Seeing as how the plan probably wouldn't
have worked in the first place, the attempted robber forgot to put holes
in the bag for him to see. After bumping into bank customers on his way
to the teller, he lifted up the front of his mask to look at the teller
and demand money. The security camera got a clear shot of his face and
he was soon arrested. It's no surprise that the man didn't see this coming
in his plans. PHILADELPHIA,
Penn. - They always say that only the dumbest criminals return to the
scene of the crime. Such was the case of a 19-year-old who tried to rob
a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Philadelphia. Aaron Bell walked into the restaurant
without a mask or any disguise to hide his face and asked for money that
was locked securely in the time-locked safe. The most incriminating evidence
against the young man was that the manager knew who he was: his employee.
After trying to rob his own employer, Bell came back into work three days
later as if nothing had happened. His sentencing is scheduled for January
15. CLAIRTON,
Pittsburgh - A plumber in Pittsburgh must have been sniffing too much
pipe dope when he decided to rob a string of convenience stores. Robert
Peter Nelson, 21, might have gotten away with it, had the name "Nelson
Plumbing and Heating" not been plastered in big bold letters along
with the telephone number on his van. Witnesses at the three convenience
stores described the van with the telephone number for incredulous police,
who arrested Nelson as he got out of the van in Clairton on Sunday. An
officer was familiar with where the van was usually parked. It's a Banana and I'm Not Afraid to Use It LYNCHBURG,
Va. - After putting a banana in his pocket like a gun, Patrick Jason Mann
entered a 7-Eleven store and robbed the clerk of a whole $10. Mann blamed
his banana shenanigans and a previous burglary on his crack cocaine addiction.
Along with forcing him to fork over the ten bucks and the cash from his
other robbery, the court ordered Mann to serve 18 months in prison and
undergo substance abuse treatment. COLUMBUS,
Ohio - Here's a tip for all you would-be bank robbers: If you plan on
carrying a buttload of money after sticking up a teller, you might want
to have a bag or sack handy. As 40-year-old John Gladney found out the
hard way, shoving stolen money into your pants carries serious consequences.
A security device was planted in a stack of cash that the thief received
that was set to explode and release a dye to stain the bills and the criminal.
Long story short, the bundle of money was a little too close to his kibbles
'n bits when the dye pack exploded, leaving him in noticeable pain as
he walked down the street. Police saw the crippled crook and nabbed him
almost immediately. ANNAPOLIS,
MD - There aren't too many more bizarre robberies than when someone tries
to rob a video store. Oh, that is unless they're trying to threaten employees
with a plastic gun. Wait, and if the burglar is seven years old. The four-foot
tall, 70-pound criminal stuck up a Hollywood Video store manager with
a fake gun and refused to back down from police once they arrived. When
questioned by an officer after the incident, the boy continued to maintain
that he had intended to rob the store. However, the plan didn't work out
for the little guy as he forgot one of the main steps in attempting a
robbery: demanding money. Getaway Plan Fails When Car Won't Start CLEVELAND,
OH. - After his designated getaway vehicle wouldn't get going, the crook
tried stealing a car in the bank's parking lot. After that plan failed,
an attempt was made to nab the car keys from a nearby residence. No such
luck there either. Officers and area residents finally nailed him after
they chased him onto a busy interstate, where he tried to flag down cars
and trucks. If he had gotten away, do you think he'd have used the money
to fix the car? ST. LOUIS
- A St. Louis cab driver unknowingly helped a passenger rob a bank on
Monday. Taxi driver Mohammad Sheikh picked up a man wearing a red jacket
and sunglasses Monday, who directed him to the Commerce Bank and asked
Sheikh to wait while he got money. Ten minutes passed with the meter running,
and Sheikh said he had become impatient. The driver walked into the bank,
where he saw a teller hand the man a bulging green bag. The man walked
back to the taxi and said he wanted to go to a car dealership. Sheikh
said he thought the man was wealthy until three police officers rushed
the taxi with shotguns. The unidentified 35-year-old robber was arrested.
Sheikh lost the rest of the day answering police questions as well as
his $10.45 fare. In the future, he says he'll be pickier about which fares
he accepts.
Handgun Definition Misinterpreted NEILLSVILLE,
Wis. - As if putting your thumb and forefinger in your pocket to simulate
a concealed weapon weren't bad enough, this guy forgot the whole 'pocket'
part. The masked man allegedly tried to rob the place by forming his gloved
hand into the shape of a gun. A witness said the suspect didn't bother
to hide his pointed finger under a jacket or anything. Not fooling the
pharmacy owner one bit, he bravely wrestled with the suspect and ripped
off his mask. The accused would-be robber ran away and was arrested a
short time later. After having his mask torn off, he was easy to identify. LARGO - Donald
E. Whitney, 53, was arrested on charges of burglary and exposure of sexual
organs after an incident at a Largo bank last Thursday. Whitney walked
into the bank, took off his pants and underwear in the bathroom, sauntered
into the lobby and fell asleep naked on a couch. After removing his pants,
underwear and socks in the washroom, he went into the lobby, stood in
front of a wall and exposed himself to everyone in the bank. He then moved
into a private kitchen area and lay on a couch, where he passed out while
still naked. When police attempted to wake him, he said, "This is
the bar. Go away." He was held at the Pinellas County Jail in lieu
of $10,500 bail until a judge ordered him released on his own recognizance.
Whitney is also on probation for a 2001 battery charge. Tired Feet Trip Up Bank Robber A robber
who hit two Miami banks might have gotten away with his crimes if his
feet hadn't gotten sore. After wandering out of his second bank robbery
in 20 minutes, police said Daniel Gallagher stopped to rest his tired
feet. He plopped down on a patch of grass to relax, unfortunately, his
lounging spot was within sight of a police officer questioning a witness.
"His feet were tired," said Detective Delrish Moss. "He's
a bank robber. I didn't say he was brilliant." Police say that during
his hold-ups, Gallagher threatened to detonate a bomb unless the teller
handed over $100. It was later discovered his "explosive" was
a cold can of Miller beer in a bag. When he was taken to police headquarters,
he revealed his motive, saying, "I'm ugly and I smell bad, so I can't
get a job. I gotta get money somehow." MODESTO,
Calif. - A California bank robber apparently forgot the No. 1 safety rule
for wearing masks -- there simply have to be eyeholes to be successful.
Bank tellers and detectives alike are still smiling at the image of the
thief who walked into the Oak Valley Community Bank in Modesto this week
wearing a checkered flannel cloth over his face secured by a hat. Detective
Tom Blake said the man cautiously lifted a part of the cloth to see where
he was walking, demanded money and began his retreat. "But he forgets
which side the door hinges were on," Blake told the Modesto Bee.
"He walks into the steel door frame, bangs his head into the frame
and knocks his hat off. He backs up a bit, still holding onto his hood,
and shuffles out the door." The thief did escape, and police are
looking for a skinny man with a raspy voice, a checkered cloth, long-sleeved
pink shirt, white gardening gloves and a goose-egg on his forehead. BUENOS AIRES - An early morning street hold-up was foiled by police on Thursday morning - and they were shocked to discover that one of the assailants was blind. "When a police car arrived at the scene, the pair took off running. What caught the attention of the officer was that they were running holding hands," Police Commissioner Luis Ceballos said. "On apprehending them, the officer found one of them was blind." Police are still trying to comprehend what the blind robber was thinking. They retrieved a fire-arm from the scene, and are not clear which of the pair was holding the gun. "We don't know what they were thinking," Ceballos said. "This is the first time I've seen anything like this in my life."
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