Netherlands - After discovering that a cargo of squirrels on one of their
flights had been illegally imported from China, KLM Royal Dutch Airlines
solved their legal dilemma by stuffing the 440 fuzzy-tailed rodents into
an industrial meat processor. KLM has come under considerable criticism
for their creative problem solving by animal rights groups, and has since
suspended shipments of any rodents, animals caught in the wild or any
- Whoever said charcoal was just for grilling out evidentially never heard
of fart-proof underwear. 62-year-old inventor Buck Weimer from Colorado
has reportedly designed a pair of airtight undies with a replaceable charcoal
filter to remove bad gas before it escapes. Weimer apparently thought
up the flatulent fighting invention, which he named Under-Ease, after
his wife 'let go a bomb' in bed one night. Buck explained that the removable
filter - which looks similar to the shoulder pads placed in women's clothing
- is made of charcoal sandwiched between two layers of Australian sheep's
wool. They sell for $24.95 over the internet.
New York - Updating the story on flatulence filtered underwear, Invented
by Buck Wiemer of Colorado... Now it seems Mr. Weimer has had a modicum
of success for his invention. He has reportedly won an Ig Nobel Prize,
which goes to researchers and scientists who have made bizarre contributions
to the world. The awards, which are handed out each year by actual Nobel
Prize winners, are granted for work that "cannot or should not be
reproduced." The underwear has the motto "Wear them for the
ones you love," however, Weimer says it is a serious medical product.
"While we appreciate the humor - and get a lot of that - we recognize
that it's a medical product, and it's for people in need. We believe we're
certainly fulfilling a service here," Weimer concluded.
Madonna Fans 'Putting Out' for Tickets
in Turkmenistan Becoming Very Costly
Exactly Turning Lead Into Gold, But...
Florida - Margaret Hargrove, 73, was out for an evening stroll with her
dog, Alex, when they were attacked by a pit bull. As the ferocious canine
clamped its jaws around the young pup's head, Hargrove got down on her
hands and knees and bit the pit bull in the back of the neck. The pit
bull reportedly let go of the smaller dog and backed off, then bared its
teeth at Hargrove, who attacked the dog again. A neighbor soon arrived
with a baseball bat arrived to scare off the pit bull. Hargrove needed
four stitches in her arm. Her dog also needed stitches.
You're Going to Kill Your Wife, Texas is the Place
Mother Drowns All Her Children
Pa - Lee McPhatter's 3-year-old daughter Mina was going to take a picture
with the Cookie Monster at the Sesame Place theme park, whether the Cookie
Monster wanted to or not. When the woman inside the fuzzy blue suit tried
to push the little girl aside, McPhatter supposedly pushed her to the
ground and then kicked her in the head and back. People started yelling
at him for brutalizing the lovable children's entertainer, but McPhatter
says he did not kick or punch the Cookie Monster. That is not the story
of actress Jennie McNelis who police say suffered bruised ribs and a cervical
France - You may have heard of stork's dropping babies on doorsteps, but
have you ever heard of stork nests dropping on people? A 70-year-old woman
was sitting on the terrace of the Restaurant de la tour, in Turkenheim,
when the huge nest crashed through the restaurant canopy and onto the
victims head. The nest apparently fell from a tower overlooking the restaurant
in the historic old city. Two storks and their babies were in the nest,
but the police have not given details about their condition. No other
humans were seriously injured in the incident.
Gives Birth To Her Brother's Baby
Germany - Housewife Gerda Niehus must have a Bobbit fascination because
recently while sleeping with her husband decided to cut off his manhood.
Only she wanted to make sure she never had sex again with him and never
wanted him to 'find' his penis. So she flushed the flesh down the toilet.
Her husband Hans has been released from the hospital and Gerda is awaiting
trial on a charge of assault with intent to commit grave bodily harm.
Germany - Here's one you don't see too often. A German man was making
his way to a brothel in the red-light district of Aachen when he caught
his wife working the streets as a prostitute. According to police, they
needed to break up a rather intense argument that broke out between the
couple in the wee hours of the morning.
- Michael Kelly, 23, put on his best suit and climbed up a 200-foot construction
crane last week to hold police and rescuers off for over 17 hours. He
spent the day reading a Bible, scribbling notes and, at one point, dropping
a blank check into the crowd gathered below. After psychologists failed
to talk him down police threw reason to the wind and called Kelly's mother.
She also failed to persuade him to surrender. Early on, police feared
that the man had a gun and evacuated about 250 workers from the construction
site. The reason for the stand-off was not known.
Canada - Representatives at Bell Canada presented a Canadian woman with
a $5,000 phone bill. Dianna Freiesleben from Oshawa, near Toronto, was
slapped with the hefty fee after she left her home computer dialed up
a work number for more than a week. Freiesleben, who works at home transcribing
medical records for a Toronto hospital, says she was completely flabbergasted
when she got a call from an "unfriendly" customer service representative
at Bell Canada. She reluctantly worked out a monthly payment plan with
the telephone company, but says she has "learned a costly lesson."
England - Most bachelor parties consist of drinking, strippers, and last-minute
shenanigans. An English groom-to-be and his best man were recent victims
of such a stag party prank as they were abandoned on the Warminster bypass
in Wiltshire. The two 20-something men were handcuffed together, drenched
in eggs, flour, and tomato sauce, and left in the stifling heat. Officers
took them to the police station where they could clean up and described
the two as having "all the ingredients for a good souffle."
They gave the victims directions to the nearest train station and sent
them on their way. One police representative said, "Officers did
not know what to make of it."
Burns Down House in Heated Dispute
of Wales - The previously prestigious University of Wales has spent thousands
of dollars examining the question whether mussels can suffer panic attacks.
Yes, that's right, some professor decided this was an important question
to answer so researchers placed dog whelks, which eat mussels, in a tank
and monitored the mussels' heart beat. The results? Mussels' heartbeats
increased for up to 24 hours even after the dog whelks were removed.
India - Trouble began earlier in the week at a college campus near Patna,
the capital of the eastern Indian state. School officials seized books
and notes from 18 students about to take an exam, and the students boycotted
the test in retaliation. Angry at not being able to cheat, a group of
students later attacked veterinary college principal Mani Mohan Prasad.
They threw gasoline bombs at his car, and the professor suffered burns
to 30% of his body. According to police, the students on motorcycles were
armed with everything from hockey sticks and knives to revolvers and petrol
bombs. Prasad said, "The students rained hockey sticks on me. I then
managed to extricate myself and got in the car, but the car was also attacked
by the marauders with petrol bombs." Two students were arrested,
and the school was closed indefinitely.
Thailand - When Chamlong Taengniem's 13-year-old son died in a motorcycle
accident, she had no idea he would revisit her. As a lizard. The mother
claims a lizard followed her home after her son's cremation and sleeps
in his mattress and drinks his favorite drinks. Flocks of people have
journeyed to the woman's home to catch a glimpse of the lizard, even stroking
its stomach in the hopes of finding clues to future lottery numbers. Out
of respect, people left gifts for the lizard as well. People in Buddhist
nations generally believe in reincarnation and a spirit's life after death.
- It appears that a mystery attacker in Pittsburgh may have had some sort
of foot fetish after he stopped woman on the street to sniff her shoe
and lick her foot. The woman claims she was walking in the town square
when a man grabbed her leg, fell to the ground and began sniffing her
shoe. The publicity surrounding this latest attack reportedly encouraged
another victim to come forward. The second woman, who was attacked last
Autumn, said her experience was exactly the same. "The only thing
I could do was get my foot out of my shoe and then I ran away. I looked
back and he was just lying in the mud with my shoe," she concluded.
Rocking Horse Castrated
Don't Want to be Caught Dancing in Iran
- County officials in Los Angeles have set their sights on plans that
are truly out of this world. Los Angeles County Assessor Rick Auerbach
is reportedly trying to impose property taxes on several satellites that
are hovering approximately 22,300 miles above the equator. The $100 million
satellites, which are owned by the Los Angeles County-based company Hughes
Electronics, are expected to bring in millions of dollars a year in taxes.
The idea has apparently sparked a debate "more cosmic than most in
the annals of property taxation." But according to Auerbach, "satellites
are no different from other movable personal property that he has authority
to tax--like boats or construction equipment."
Sweden - How do you spell relief? Swedish inventor Per Wallin hopes menstruating
women all over the world will use heated underpants to spell relief. According
to Wallin, these garments use chemical pads which generate their own heat
and stay warm for up to an hour before they need to be replaced. This
warmth provides pain relief as an alternative to painkillers. The hot
pants recently won a local innovation prize in southern Sweden, making
the invention a candidate for a $37,000 Swedish crown national scholarship.
Wallin says he is now looking for an investor to manufacture these underpants
on a large scale.
Drink Claims to Enlarge Breasts
Before you Pee...
A passer-by in the south Spanish town of Armilla found what he thought
was a three-month-old fetus on a the sidewalk. Emergency services took
it to a local hospital where two doctors, who gave it a preliminary examination,
immediately suspected an illegal abortion. They alerted the police who
began a search for the mother. It wasn't until the doctors started an
autopsy two days later that they discovered the fetus was a doll. "It
was a very real looking doll, covered in liquid," a police spokesman
said. "It looks like a joke in very bad taste."
in Coffee House Injured by Falling Cow
Forget to Feed Your Clothes
- A toothbrush was used to relieve a different "cavity" when
a pensioner decided to use the dental instrument to scratch his hemorrhoids.
The 69-year-old man ordered into the hospital after the toothbrush became
lodged in his rectum. An X-ray revealed it was deep inside near his pelvis.
Although this was first recorded case of a toothbrush having to be removed
from the rectum, the British Dental Journal reports doctors have recovered
toothbrush holders, toothbrush packages and toothpicks in the past.
- Preta the pooch never misses a Sunday service at her local Catholic
church. Every Sunday morning at 5:00, the dog leaves her owner's house
in the small town of Sobrado and trots to the neighboring village of Ermesinde
for church, about eight miles away. Preta saunters right up to the church's
chancel and lies down by the side of the altar. When the congregants rise
for the Kyrie or the Gospel lesson, so does she. When they sit down, she'll
stretch out on the stone floor again. The church is routinely packed to
capacity because everyone wants to see the famous parishioner.
Minnesota - A 34-year-old Minnesota farmer risked life and limb, literally,
after he was pulled into a hay baler. Jarrod Wagner was removing a clump
of hay from the twin rollers in the machine when his left arm got caught
and he felt himself being dragged in. He used a metal piece from his headset
as a crude saw to amputate his own arm. Wagner told reporters, "It
was kind of sucking my whole body in, so I figured, well, it was either
my whole body or my arm." Hospital officials say that the arm was
recovered, however, it was too mangled to be reattached. Wagner is in
fair condition after the incident.
Careful What Bus You Take in Zimbabwe
at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and,
after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a
look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's
claim was approved.
Mass. - Police in a town just south of Boston received a tip that George
Picard, 34, had allegedly stolen items from his upstairs neighbor. When
they searched Picard's apartment, they found several alarming objects
including a skull, bones, a brain and a fetus in jars - as well as occult
paraphernalia. Picard has been charged with grave-robbing and drug possession.
Police Lt. Russell Jenkins told a local newspaper that the man is suspected
to be involved in devil worship, and neighbors said he had "mental
problems." The skull allegedly was stolen from a nearby cemetery,
while the fetus and brain apparently were stolen from the New England
Medical Center in Boston, where Picard had worked as an electrician.
About Getting Married on the Deck of the Titanic?
Talk about getting wrapped up in your work. Berkine, a Netherlands National
Circus performer reportedly got his right foot stuck on his left shoulder
while rehearsing for a show in Gillingham, southeastern England. "I
think the problem was that I did not warm up very well," stated the
21-year-old contortionist from Kazakhstan. And according to circus producer
Chris Barltrop, Berkine's co-workers ignored him at first because they
just thought it was part of the act. They finally noticed he was being
serious and came to his aid.
2001 - Sometimes some of the most truly morbid and bizarre events take
place for the sake of art. Austrian-born Wolfgang Flatz proved this point
when he dropped a bloody, headless bull from a helicopter in central Berlin.
Before the bull fell about 130 feet to the ground, Flatz hung motionless
from a crane -- naked and bleeding -- with his arms out-stretched cross-like
as industrial music blared at a factory construction site. Hundreds of
onlookers crowded nearby to watch, sometimes applauding and whistling,
and protesters passed out fliers decrying the world hunger problem. According
to Flatz, the performance was aimed at getting people to think about how
they associate with nature.
Romania - Some issues should have been "ironed out" before the
wedding takes place. Mircea Stoleru learned this the hard way after his
18-year-old wife burned him with a hot iron because he fell asleep without
making love to her. The young woman apparently was not too pleased and
decided to heat things up a bit by scorching her husband on the right
shoulder with the heated appliance. Stoleru told reporters, "This
should serve me right. I knew what I got when I married such a young and
beautiful wife, and I never get home sober."
Tossing Taken to a New Level
- Jason Black and Frances Schroeder are in the process of looking for
a corporate sponsor to name the baby boy that they are expecting. "The
exposure that it could bring to a business is potentially huge, and we
think it would be well worth the investment on their part," Black
explained. The expectant couple has put the naming rights up for auction
on both eBay and Yahoo!, at a minimum bid of $500,000. The ads were posted
July 18 and will run through July 28. So far, there have been no bidders,
but they plan to extend their offer.
Swan Received Bionic Bill
ISLAND, Africa - Rumor has it there is a sexually aggressive ghost that
attacks people while they are asleep. The ghost goes by the name of Popo
Bawa and people say he prefers to visit sleepers while they are in their
own beds at home. Popo's presence is said to be revealed by an acrid smell
and a puff of smoke. Women, however, are less concerned about this super-
natural threat than the local men because this particular spirit has a
preference for men, many of whom have reported being sodomized while they
- Kids, don't try this at home! James Reilly, 36, has won a new car after
skydiving naked with a stick of deodorant bound by tape to his genitals.
Reilly won first prize in a radio competition for the wackiest act
and will receive a Peugeot 206 for his efforts. According to Reilly, "For
three minutes of coldness, it was worth it.
- The mayors of several Czech towns have planned an aggressive ad campaign
targeting women shoppers in Austria. A highway traveling north through
the Czech Republic is flanked by prostitutes, and the mayors estimate
that over 95% of the customers are Austrian men. This new billboard ad
campaign will instruct the Austrian wives who shop in the Republic to
stop their husbands from illegally cavorting with the prostitutes. Mayor
of Dolni Dvoriste, Emil Ruzicka, said "Many Austrian women come shopping
here, so they'll see these posters." Deputy mayor of Kaplice Jan
Kozojed said, "If we can stop the demand from the Austrian side,
then the supply of prostitutes will also stop."
Job That Stops Just Short of Sucking
I was at college, I never thought I'd end up affording an orangutan personal
relief by hand every morning," Mr. Binatang told reporters
as they followed him on his daily rounds at the Singapore Zoological Gardens.
"And Ah Meng is the worst. He expects to be kissed on the neck first."
2001 - Michael Colombini, 6, reportedly died after undergoing an MRI exam
at a New York-area hospital after the machine's powerful magnetic field
jerked a metal oxygen tank across the room and crushed the child's head.
Authorities say the force of the device's 10-ton magnet is about 30,000
times as powerful as Earth's magnetic field, and 2000 times stronger than
a common refrigerator magnet. The canister apparently fractured the skull
and injured the brain of the young patient. The routine imaging procedure
was performed after Colombini underwent surgery for a benign brain tumor
last week. The hospital's president and CEO, Edward Stolzenberg, said
in a statement, "The medical center assumes full responsibility for
the accident. Our sorrow is immeasurable and our prayers and our thoughts
are with the child's family."
An Alabama woman picked the wrong place to take a little snooze. Theresa
Moorer, 29, fell asleep on a mattress by a garbage can and woke up in
a landfill site in Georgia. Luckily, a worker at the site saw Moorer's
leg poking out of a pile of furniture that was due to be crushed by a
compactor. Representatives of the site say she would have been buried
under a mountain of rubbish and a thick cover of earth if she hadn't been
spotted. Moorer told police she has no recollection of why she crawled
in the bin in the first place.
Man Pursues Fur Implants
Turkey - Festivities got off to a bang when a bride was reportedly shot
with an air rifle by a relative at a party before her wedding. Aynur Tayoglu,
22, was taken to the hospital with several air rifle pellets lodged in
her stomach. Five other family members were also injured at the party.
The doctors agreed to postpone surgery to remove the pellets after her
future father-in-law refused to set another date for the wedding, saying
that many relatives had traveled a long way for the festivities. Tayoglu
was said to have returned to complete the wedding and even danced with
her new husband Mutlu Yalcinkaya despite her wounds.
- Sami Shour may have been looking to get a free shave when he traded
a half share of his $3.30 lottery ticket to his barber, but when the ticket
won $134,000 Shour was as good as his word. The construction worker and
his barber, Abu Fares Tafla, split the prize money for $67,000 each.
Hijacks Plane, Crashes in Gulf
CAIRO - If
he doesn't make it into the Guinness Book of World Records Mustafa Semeda
should at least get a merit badge for his efforts. The Egyptian musical
agent has tied the knot over 200 times. Published reports indicate that
Mustafa Semeda sought a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records and
thought that becoming repeatedly married would be just the way to do it.
Semeda says he first got married in 1947, that was 202 wives ago. Marrying
that many times, though, is somewhat easier in Egypt, where a man can
have up to four wives at a time. Semeda says he's still looking for true
love. His last wife just left him.
Saves Shipwreck Victims
Ghost Most Popular Attraction at Library
New Zealand - Evidently this man's cat had no lives to spare for him.
Peter John Robinson, 28, reportedly died after slipping on a piece of
ice and drowning in Piper the cat's water bowl where he landed. According
to Robinson's mother, Gill, he apparently hit his head after slipping
on ice and fell face first in the dish. The inch-and-a-half of water in
the bowl was just enough to cover his mouth and was taken into his lungs.
It was later revealed that Robinson had a balance problems from being
born with only one ear.
- A Best Western hotel clerk was on the phone and didn't notice when a
man approached the counter. He was wearing a bright orange shirt, but
the clerk thought nothing of it as he questioned her about Best Westerns
in nearby states. As they conversed, property owner Becky Shinn left the
office area and headed for the lobby to leave and run errands. But she
didn't make it that far. She turned back to the office after reaching
the lobby and quickly took the clerk aside. It turns out the man was wearing
the shirt and nothing else - he had left his clothing outside the hotel's
main doors. By the time the women were done laughing, the man had fled
- George Rome of Mobile, Alabama can. Rome was shot twice in the head
at his towing shop over the weekend when a customer was upset about his
car being impounded. Miraculously, neither shot was fatal. According to
Rome, he felt something moving around in his mouth and thought it was
a tooth. When he spit, it turned out to be a bullet. Rome now hopes that
the cops will give him back the bullet -- so he can make a necklace
and Son Reunited in British Taxi
Children's Book Gets the 'Bum's Rush'
Doctor Performs His Own Vasectomy
England - Jonathan Heatley, 45, reportedly gave himself local anesthetic
and personally performed his own vasectomy with a scalpel, while a nurse
and his wife stood by in case of a mishap. Heatley, who has three sons,
aged 12, 14 and 16, told reporters he had already performed three 'snips'
that morning and decided to become number four. He admitted the operation
made him sweat a bit and his only worry was making sure he was properly
numb while he carried out the operation.
Promotion Pulled Offering Free Casket
California - 45-year-old suspect, Harold White, has been charged with
one of the more bizarre crimes to hit this unusual city. He has been charged
with disturbing the peace with a high powered magnet! It seems that White
would stake out piercing parlors thereupon following women who recently
had body parts pierced. He would then get close to them with his magnet
in an attempt to "sexually stimulate" his victims with the magnet.
2001 - The remains of homeless man José Manuel Urra, had to be identified
by family members after the Doberman guard dogs of a Chilean factory ate
the lower half his body. According to Urra's brother, the dogs had eaten
everything below his waist leaving only the leg bones. The dogs now face
being destroyed, while the man's family have announced legal proceedings
against the Santiago furniture company that owns the seven dogs. Urra's
mother, who hasn't been named, told reporters, "My son had nowhere
to live, and he had no job or anything. Guarding a property is one thing,
but eating people alive is much too much." According to Veterinary
scientist Luis Tello, "Dobermans are guard dogs, and in this case
they saw the tramp as their legitimate prey. These dogs were deliberately
bred to be aggressive and to protect their territory."
Solution to Stolen Cell Phones
In The... Toilet
Canada - A woman ripped off her boyfriend's testicles during a tiff after
he came home drunk from his birthday celebration. According to police,
the woman got hold of Barrington Wynn's testicles and pulled so hard she
tore them from his scrotum. Later reports stated that the damage was not
as extensive as first thought and the genitals were able to be reattached.
Philip Klotz, a urologist at St. Michael's Hospital in Toronto, was amazed
by the incident. "It must have been one hell of a pull," he
said. "I've never seen anything like it and I've been in practice
for 50 years." In the most bizarre twist, Wynn said he does not want
to press charges. "How can I be angry at my [girlfriend]? People
fight; and that's reality."
Change for Chicago Principal a Shock
Signs of Death Not So Clear After All
- If you do not know the exact location of something as powerful as say...a
lost HYDROGEN BOMB, but you never actually recovered it, how can you say
it is safe? This is what Pentagon officials are saying about a 3450kg
explosive that has supposedly been lying off the coast of Georgia since
February 5, 1958. The bomb was reportedly lost after being jettisoned
from a damaged B-47 Stratojet bomber during a training exercise. Documents
re- veal the search was called off when another hydrogen bomb was accidentally
dropped near Florence, South Carolina. Officials claim the bomb is safe
because the detonator had been removed. This has been challenged by former
servicemen and residents, who have discovered documents stating it was
armed. Mayor Walter Parker summed it up best by stating: "It's in
the best interest of everybody that it be found to determine what condition
the weapon is in."