Kids Bring Pot Brownies to Class SACRAMENTO,
Calif. - After receiving an assignment in health class to bring a healthy
snack, five students at an El Dorado County High School decided to bring
a scrumptious batch of brownies, but not just any brownies - the "magical"
kind. Yes, the students allegedly brought pot-laced brownies to distribute
to classmates, according to school officials. Apparently the teacher quickly
realized what was going on and brought the dessert to the administration.
The students have not been allowed to return to school and face being
expelled. Authorities said they have each received misdemeanor citations
and could face anything from a fine to time in juvenile hall. Terror Warnings Lead to Over-Protection Warnings
from the Department of Homeland Security to get duct tape and plastic
prompted a Connecticut man to wrap his entire house in plastic, according
to Local reports. Paul West bought hundreds of feet of plastic sheeting,
batten boards, staple-guns, and ladders, to seal up his home. "I
just have all this energy from tension and anxiety and I don't know what
to do with it," West said. "Basically, I'm doing what the government
says we should. I may be doing it a little more energetically than some
folks, but I'm trying to be pro-active rather than reactive. My wife's
not happy, but she puts up with it." Cock Fighting Against Cancer BUTLER, Ga.
- It's always a great gesture to host an event to raise money for cancer
patients. Things like cancer walks, concerts and telethons have been helpful
in collecting cash for important medical research. However, a group of
friends simply had the wrong idea when they attempted to gather funds
for their cancer-stricken friend. Fifty-two people were arrested on charges
of aggravated cruelty to animals and gambling after the cockfight for
cancer was held. While the group of men may have had the best of intentions,
the fundraiser was illegal and no money was recovered. It's a Tooth Brush, Not an Ass Brush ENGLAND -
If you just so happen to catch yourself a painful case of hemorrhoids,
one way not recommended by physicians to relieve the itching is by sticking
a toothbrush up there. A 69-year-old man thought that shoving the bristly
appendage up his rectum would soothe his pain. Unfortunately, what resulted
was a trip to the hospital and a procedure involving biopsy forceps after
x-rays revealed that the toothbrush had become stuck in the man's pelvis.
Stupid Game - Bicycle Boxing FORT COLLINS,
Colo. - As if teenagers weren't branded enough these days as being degenerate
and stupid with stories about Jackass stunts gone wrong. This time, charges
have been filed against a Colorado teenager accused of attacking bicyclists.
Termed "bicycle boxing," the teen and a couple of friends would
drive behind unsuspecting bicyclists and hit them with a baseball bat.
Authorities said a 17-year-old boy has been charged with second-degree
assault, reckless endangerment and underage consumption of alcohol. Motorized Bar Stool Stunt Lands Man in Jail NEW ZEALAND
- No matter what country you're in, drinking and driving will get you
in some serious trouble. Therefore, it wasn't surprising that John Sullivan
landed himself in police custody following a stunt that involved him racing
down a road on a motorized barstool after having "had a few."
As if a drunkard on an engine-equipped barstool wasn't enough of a sight,
picture him near-naked with his ass on fire. The flames came courtesy
of one of Mr. Sullivan's party tricks that involved a rolled-up newspaper
and a cigarette lighter. While the neighbors didn't think the stunt was
so funny, two cops couldn't stop laughing. Bar Owner Gets Trashed - Trashes Bar LONDON -
If someone's had a little too much to drink, it's a good idea to take
away their car keys and cut them off from any more beverages. And, if
he didn't take his car, make sure to snag his bulldozer keys from him
then. The owner of a historic village pub pleaded guilty today to demolishing
part of the building with a bulldozer, reportedly after staff refused
to serve him a drink after hours. News reports said it will cost up to
$112,000 to repair the damage. Man Loses Chunk of Finger in Demonstration LONDON -
When recreating the scene of an accident, demonstrators aren't typically
as graphic with their versions as the originals. An English machine operator
got a little too realistic for his own good as he attempted to show his
bosses how he lost part of his thumb in a workplace accident. He ended
up losing a chunk of a finger on his other hand. Talk about being "all
thumbs." Thanks to this "handy" man, a new phrase is in
the works. SYRACUSE,
N.Y. - In a strange turn of events, a dog had to receive medical treatment
after he was bitten by a human. A 33-year-old man faces charges that he
bit a police dog during a disturbance outside a downtown bar. Too drunk
to remember, Paul Russell doesn't recall biting the canine officer, a
German Shepherd named Renny. According to police reports, Russell grabbed
Renny by the throat and started choking the animal and biting it on the
left side of his neck. In an effort to pry the man off the dog, a police
officer punched Russell twice in the face, resulting in a broken nose
and two black eyes for the assailant. Russell was charged with injuring
a police animal, resisting arrest and obstruction of governmental administration.
SCARBOROUGH,
Australia - Some people are a little less technologically-inclined than
others. Still, that's no excuse for one man who thought he had found a
new way to charge his mobile phone. Low on power, the man thought it would
be a good idea to toss his phone into the microwave for a quick zap of
energy. What he got was a big explosion and a visit from the fire department,
after the battery blew up inside the oven. Luckily, the man escaped from
the idiotic incident unscathed. Cruise Passenger Threatens Entire Ship HONOLULU,
Hawaii - Twenty-year-old Kelley Marie Ferguson is being charged with two
counts of threatening acts of terrorism after she threatened to kill everyone
aboard her cruise ship if the trip wasn't cut short so she could get back
to her boyfriend in California. After crew members found two notes threatening
to kill the nearly 2,400 passengers if the cruise wasn't cut short, they
went to authorities and a 120-member task force of federal, state and
military personnel searched the ship. Ferguson confessed during an interview
saying she never wanted to go on this cruise and wanted to get back to
her boyfriend. She now faces 20 years in prison. Man Calls Police About Stolen Pot DUBLIN, Ga.
- When you're reporting to the cops about items that were stolen from
your home, it's not a good idea to inform them of illegal contraband you
may have had. Apparently, John Randolph thought he might be able to get
his stolen marijuana back by telling police it was missing. When officers
arrived to his place, Randolph said a thief took four 'dime bags' of marijuana,
along with a .22-caliber pistol, a gold necklace and $30 in change. To
make sure he heard correctly, the reporting officer asked Randolph again
about the marijuana.The school bus driver repeated what he said and then
showed the cop a small box on a bedroom dresser where he said he kept
the marijuana. And why did he confess? He said, "I was always told
to tell the truth." Strangely enough, Randolph was not charged with
a crime. When a Catfish Sticks to Your Forehead SANTA BARBARA,
Ca. - It's amazing what some college males will do to attract the attention
of their female peers. It all took place at a campus swimming pool where
fraternity members competed in a belly flop contest hosted by a campus
sorority as a fundraiser. To spice up their performance, three members
of Sigma Chi added three dead catfish to their routine. Their plan was
to dive in and beat each other with the dead fish. What they didn't realize
was that catfish have sharp, pronged spines in their pectoral and dorsal
fins. The result? A trip to the hospital with a fish stuck to one kid's
face. The victim had to be seek medical attention to remove the inch-long
spine from his forehead. Drunks Attempt to Break Into Prison When you're
on the lookout to hookup with a random woman, you might want to head to
a place where a lot of females hang out. However, such a strategy does
not apply to women's prisons. Two sex-starved einsteins were hitting the
sauce pretty heavily at a local nightclub when they came up with the idea
to score chicks at Maldon's Tarrengower Prison. With the rationale that
the inmates would be a sure thing, the men tried to breach the penitentiary
walls. They were caught and charged with trespassing after failing miserably.
One prison source commented that it was hard enough trying to keep prisoners
in the facility, let alone keeping people out as well. Man Uses Cigarette Lighter to Check Fuel MOTORIST FACING CHARGES AFTER USING CIGARETTE LIGHTER TO CHECK FUEL TANK A Slovakian motorist who blew up his car and a petrol station when he used a cigarette lighter to look into his petrol tank is to be charged with endangering public safety. The 30 year-old, not named by police, says his fuel gauge had broken and he had pulled into the petrol station to see if there was fuel in the tank. He says he could not see into the tank and used the lighter to allow him to see into the nozzle. The naked flame ignited the tank and, as the panicked motorist fled, the fire spread and demolished much of the small petrol station in the west Slovak town of Horna Streda. The motorist
was treated for burns and two other people who were badly injured when
his car's fuel tank blew up are still in hospital, Slovak media reports. LINCOLN,
Neb. -- A Nebraska lawmaker is so fed up with constituents crossing the
state border to gamble that she proposed going to war with neighboring
Iowa. State Senator Pam Brown's proposed amendment read: "The sovereign
state of Nebraska declares a state of hostility with the sovereign state
of Iowa until such a time as the state of Iowa ceases the unjust and relentless
appropriation of the resources of the citizens of Nebraska." Iowans
were not amused. Brown later withdrew the amendment. PINELLAS
PARK, Fla. - How would you like it if your phone rang off the hook thinking
you were God? It's driving one woman nuts. In the recent box office hit,
"Bruce Almighty," a scene appears where God (Morgan Freeman)
pages Bruce (Jim Carrey) and leaves a number, which flashes on the movie
screen. Refraining from using the typical 555 prefix, the film's creators
used a real phone number that people are calling at a rate of 15 to 20
times an hour. Throughout the day, Dawn Jenkins answers her phone to the
response of "Is God there?" or "God?" For some people,
being asked if they are God would be a thrill. For Jenkins, it's a pain
in the ass. Senior Prank Results in Death of Peacock A senior
prank that resulted in the death of a peacock has resulted in an investigation
that could bar some Cincinnati students from graduation. Ten Mason High
School seniors are under investigation and four seniors could face theft
and animal cruelty charges, school officials told the Cincinnati Enquirer.
Warren County Sheriff Tom Ariss says a peacock, rabbit and five chickens
were among several birds and animals stolen from a farm in Deerfield Township.
District spokeswoman Shelly Benesh Hausman says the peacock found roaming
the halls at Mason High died after suffering a broken leg and other injuries,
which may have occurred during its capture. The students allegedly stole
the animals from the farm and then brought them to the school and let
them loose. Traveler Phones in Bomb Threat MEDFORD,
Ore. - A man running late for his departure from Oregon to Phoenix called
in a phony bomb threat in hopes that the plane would be delayed long enough
for him to get on board. The man didn't do too well of a job making himself
inconspicuous, as airport employees became suspicious when the man asked
if the flight had left yet as it made its way back to the terminal. The
plane had been in the air for just a few moments when it received a call
and was told to return to the airport. Apparently, this man hasn't been
keeping up with current events for the past couple years. Duct Tape Would Have Worked, Too BERLIN, Germany
- There are few things more irritating then the wailing of an upset infant.
Parents will try almost anything from feeding, singing and rocking their
baby to calm the little one down. However, shock came over parents of
a newborn when they discovered a nurse had used an extreme method of quieting
their four-day-old child: Band-aids. The appalled couple found their child
in the post-natal ward with a pacifier taped to his mouth. The nurse,
who has been moved from the children's ward, has admitted responsibility
and will be disciplined. The child was unharmed. Telemarketer Leaves Threatening Message COLORADO
- A telemarketer for Qwest Communications did not take kindly to being
hung up on by an Evergreen resident known as Mike. So the telemarketer
called back and left this message on his machine, "Yeah, did you
understand that? (Expletive) hang up on somebody like that again. (Expletive)
I'm coming in your (expletive) house, you (expletive). What the (expletive)
you gonna do? I'll (expletive) kill you!" After a complaint by Mike
and the local Sheriff's Department, Qwest canceled its contract with Salt
Lake City based Teleperformance USA who conducts - or rather - conducted
their tele-sales. No word was given on whether the employee was fired
for costing the company a multi-million dollar contract. Shark Traumatized by Publicity Stunt When you
have a high-strung shark, it's not a good idea to jump into its tank naked.
A 12-year old smooth hound shark died two days after British comedian
Guy Venables jumped into its tank nude as a publicity stunt at the Brighton
Sea Life Center in southern England. The "sensitive" shark is
currently being examined to determine its cause of death. If it is discovered
that he did indeed die from stress, the Center plans to prosecute Venables
for criminal damage. A Malaysian
man doped up on hallucinatory pills chopped off his own penis, fried it
and then ate it. He claimed he heard voices in his head telling him to
mutilate himself. He only comprehended what he had done when he noticed
blood oozing from his crotch. The man had taken the pills before going
to sleep on Friday and was woken up by the voices telling him to slice
off his penis and devour it. He was hospitalized in stable condition.
The national news agency Bernama reported that he had recently been released
from a drug rehabilitation center. An unsuspecting
sausage was whacked with a bat by Pittsburgh Pirate's first baseman Randall
Simon during Thursday's game in Milwaukee against the Brewers. During
the famed "sausage race" that features Brewers' team employees
dressed as a bratwurst, hot dog, Italian sausage and Polish sausage, Simon
swatted the young woman, Mandy Block, who was dressed as the Italian sausage.
She toppled to the ground and the hot dog landed on top of her. The girls
were uninjured except for a couple of scraped knees. Simon was cited for
disorderly conduct and fined $432, and issued a public apology before
he left Milwaukee. Block was offered the best seat in the house anytime
she is in Pittsburgh...but all she really wants is the offending bat signed
by Simon himself. Iranian Sews Orifices Shut Shahin Portofeh
is a 23-year-old Iranian asylum seeker in Britain who has protested government
plans to deport him by sewing shut his eyes, ears and mouth, the British
Broadcasting Corp. reports. Portofeh is lying on a bed, dressed in a T-shirt,
shorts and socks. He's put a letter detailing his deportation opposition
on a bedside table, the BBC says. The British Home Office isn't budging,
but a spokesman called the man's actions "deeply regrettable."
An Iranian Kurd living in England had tried the same stunt earlier --
and added a hunger strike. Bringing Skeleton to Party a Bad Idea Three New
York City teens stole a skeleton from a cemetery, took it to a party dressed
as Darth Vader, then dumped it in a drainage ditch. One of the teens,
charged as a youthful offender, has been sentenced to five years probation
after pleading guilty to cemetery desecration, body stealing and opening
graves. In addition to the probation, the 18-year-old male was hit with
$4,200 in fines and an additional $1,000 fine for an unrelated charge
of attempted grand larceny, the New York Post reports. The teen says he
grateful for the court's leniency -- he faced up to four years in prison
for each of the three felonies. Why Appearing on Jerry Springer is Bad NEW JERSEY
- All Paul Alexander wanted was his 15 minutes of fame. Instead, he got
a year in prison. When he and his 22-year-old girlfriend went on "The
Jerry Springer Show," they talked about their seven-year-old child.
After doing the math, authorities figured out that the couple's sexual
relationship started when the woman was only 13. Prosecutors charged Alexander
with second-degree sexual assault for engaging in sexual intercourse with
an underage woman. The woman, identified only as Rita, told the court
that she didn't want Alexander going to jail. However, both the judge
and prosecutors were firm in their decision that prison time was required. Here's a
new method to cure sex addiction, men...simply chop off your own penis.
This is what one German mad did last week to fix his addiction problem.
He drank a lot of vodka to summon up enough courage to complete the procedure.
Police said that the man called a friend after he finished to say he had
done something stupid. They arrived to find him soaked in blood and his
organ under the kitchen table. Emergency services rushed him and his penis
to a nearby hospital. Police said the man did not want his penis to be
reattached but did not know if doctors had complied with his wishes. At a surprise
party to celebrate his 40th birthday, a Norwegian man accidentally shot
and wounded six of his friends. He had found out about the party in a
forest cabin beforehand and hoped to turn the surprise on his friends
by hiding behind nearby trees with a shotgun as around 30 guests showed
up on Saturday night. He shot off one round into the air as a joke to
shock the partygoers. However, when he came out from his hiding spot,
he tripped and the gun went off again, hitting one woman in the legs and
slightly injuring five others. A police spokesman said that the man wasn't
physically hurt, but was in deep shock. Needless to say, the party was
cancelled. Sex With Pig Results in Arrest LONDON --
A 72-year-old man was arrested after having sex with a pig. He was caught
in the act by a passer-by who saw him abusing the animal at an inner-city
farm. Police arrived quickly and arrested the man, who was naked from
the waist down. The manager of the Stepping Stones Farm, Lynne Bennett,
said the man seemed to have purposely picked their most docile pig. She
remarked, "If he'd picked on one of the others, he would have been
in serious trouble. They would have done him some damage." Police
jailed the offender until next month and the pig was given a clean bill
of health by the local vet. Fight Erupts Over Flower Stand A wedding
reception in Garden City, N.Y., ended with three friends of the groom
in jail and two police officers injured. Twenty-four-year-old Jonathan
Torres, who had been drinking, and his brothers decided to "borrow"
a flower stand and take a picture of it next to his car in the parking
lot. When police arrived they said the Torres brothers were in a struggle
with waiters over the flower stand, the New York Post reports. As the
officers tried to subdue the situation, one brother jumped on the other
to keep him from being handcuffed and the Torres father joined and landed
on an officer. One officer suffered a knee injury, the other sustained
a back injury, the Post says. A 26-year-old
man suffered a fractured pelvis and severe burns to his genital area after
a firecracker exploded between the cheeks of his buttocks. An ambulance
was called after receiving reports that the man was hemorrhaging from
the rear. Surgeon Dr. Robert McCurdie thinks the man stumbled while the
firecracker was lodged inside and fell down on it. He required emergency
surgery, a colostomy and a catheter, and is now sexually dysfunctional.
The explosion blasted a hole in his pelvis and injured muscles in the
floor of the pelvis. It is thought the man might have been imitating the
prankster film Jackass, where the guys stick firecrackers up their buttocks
and they shoot into the air. The movie does have a warning not to imitate
the actions. Catnapper Caught GILLETTE,
WY - When a man got tired of his neighbor's cat wandering around his front
yard, he kidnapped it and held it for ransom. Deryl Miles trapped the
feline and stuck it in a wooden shed behind his mobile home. Miles refused
to release the cat even when he was surrounded by police. He called a
local newspaper from his trailer and remarked "I've taken (the cat)
legally because it was trespassing on my property." After leading
the officers on a brief chase around his yard, he was arrested. The cat's
owner said she called police after she heard her pet crying from the shed
next door. "You have the right to call animal control if you have
an unwanted animal in your yard," she said. "You don't have
the right to hold him for ransom." Mom Strips at Kid's Party SHARON, PA
- When you're planning a kid's birthday party to ride go-carts, make sure
the go-carts aren't rented out. However, if they are, you can always buy
the kids beer and do a strip tease for them, such as one Pennsylvania
woman did. When she took her son and three friends to a go-cart track
to celebrate her son's birthday, they discovered all the go-carts were
rented out. To make up for the disappointment, she took the kids to a
hotel and bought them beer. Handing them $1 bills, she told the boys she
wanted to be a stripper, and asked them to put the money in her bra and
panties. She then exposed herself and asked them to spank her. The woman's
son said that he was embarrassed by her actions. She was free on bail
and has since been barred from seeing the boys. MEXICO CITY
- Construction worker Ernesto Rodriguez Hernandez was taken to the hospital
after he got drunk and paid two young boys to castrate him. He was intoxicated
at a building site in Aguascalientes city on Sunday when he met two 11-year-old
boys who had gone there to play. After telling the boys he wished to be
"castrated to live more calmly" and because he wasn't married,
he then offered them money. He gave the boys 200 pesos (US$20) after they
sliced off one testicle with a razor he provided. The boys' parents called
police after the boys told them how they obtained the money. Rodriguez
was taken to the hospital and the children were put under court jurisdiction
while officials investigate the case. PITTSBURGH
- After David Smith, 44, decorated his bicycle with panties, he rode onto
the Youghiogheny River Trail and was seen by witnesses exposing himself
and performing a sex act on a rock. Rostraver Township police charged
him with indecent exposure, open lewdness, public drunkenness and disorderly
conduct. He is being held in the Westmoreland County Prison in lieu of
$5,000 bond. Witnesses told police that a naked Smith was lying on top
of a rock, thrusting himself against it in a simulated sex act. He also
stood on top of the rock to expose himself. Police found women's underwear,
gloves and rubber straps tied to the frame of Smith's bike. When officers
asked him his name, he would only give them his driver's license number. FLORIDA -
Hundreds of people trekked to a shopping mall where Kevin Shelton, known
as the "Money Man," appeared to dole out cash. It was supposed
to be a way to brighten people's day and encourage generosity, however,
the money grubbing folks of St. Petersburg turned the event into a violent
mosh pit as they jostled and fought over the cash. Six people ended up
in the hospital and six more were treated for cuts and bruises at the
scene. Shelton appeared on a balcony above the crowd, prompting people
to turn their umbrellas inside out to catch the money. The cash cannon
was fired and $2 bills rained down. A 14-year-old girl said she was trampled
and fell to the ground as people stepped all over her. She ended up with
a sore neck and back, and lost her favorite gold rope necklace. After
the event, an oblivious Shelton asked, "People got hurt?" DALLAS -
Charles McKinley found an unusual way to travel to his parents' house:
He crawled into a wooden airplane cargo crate and succeeded in shipping
himself from New York to Texas. After spending several hours traveling
inside the crate, McKinley opened the crate with a crowbar. He made it
to his parents' doorstop in the Dallas suburb of DeSoto, shook the hand
of a stunned deliveryman and walked away. The deliveryman called the cops,
who arrested him on outstanding Texas warrants. He has not yet been charged
with a crime. Officials said that the crate was put aboard a pressurized
Boeing 727 and was transferred to a second plane bound for Dallas-Fort
Worth International Airport. The crate was then picked up by a ground
shipping company and delivered to the home of McKinley's parents. McKinley
spent at least half a day in the crate and broke out just in time to be
seen by the deliveryman. AUSTIN, Minn.
- Two teenage girls searching for a marijuana dealer accidentally dialed
the number of the Mower County Sheriff's cell phone. When Sheriff Terese
Amazi answered her cell phone, the caller said she wanted a bag of marijuana.
After Amazi told the girl she was the sheriff, the caller said, "I'm
sorry," and hung up. Just a few minutes later, the phone rang again.
This time, Amazi let a deputy answer. The caller asked again for a bag
of marijuana. The deputy, who called himself "Dupe" on the phone,
arranged to meet her at a convenience store an hour later. The girls apparently
didn't figure out the meaning of "Dupe" as in "duped"
and were arrested at the scene. Police said that both girls had cash for
the marijuana and drug paraphernalia with them. One was released to her
parent and the other was turned over to a probation officer. Man Amputates Own Tongue and Penis GERMANY -
After drinking a tea made with hallucinogenic angels' trumpet plants,
18-year-old student Andreas W. chopped off his own penis and tongue. Said
his mother, "Andreas was behaving normally the whole day until he
left the house and disappeared into the garden for a couple of minutes."
When he came back to the house, he had a towel wrapped around him and
was bleeding heavily from his mouth and between his legs. An emergency
doctor arrived a few minutes later and determined the student had amputated
his penis and tongue using garden shears and it was impossible to reattach
the organs. Dr. Andreas Marneros from the local psychiatric hospital said
that Andreas will have to receive psychological help for years because
tea from Angels' Trumpets is incredibly dangerous. Texas Nazi Flag Flap DALLAS -
Paris High School apologized after the school band waved a Nazi flag during
a half-time show last Friday, the first day of the Jewish New Year holiday
of Rosh Hashana. A student pranced across the field with the flag in hand
while the Blue Blazes band played the composition by Franz Joseph Haydn
that became known as "Deutschland Uber Alles." Band director
Charles Grissom said that it was part of a show called "Visions of
World War Two" and the flag and music were meant to symbolize the
warring nations. Grissom didn't expect the reaction of the crowd at Hillcrest
High School. "We were booed. We had things thrown at us. We were
cursed," he said. Mark Briskman, regional director for the Anti-Defamation
League, said that it was a mistake and they accept their apology. TV 'Fire' Prompts Emergency Call BERLIN, Germany
- A German television network's early morning film of a burning log has
caused night owls to panic and even fooled a woman into calling out the
fire brigade. A police spokesman said that the woman woke up and mistakenly
thought her television was on fire and called emergency services. "Fire
services rushed in and extinguished the 'blaze' using the television remote
control," the spokesman said. Sabine Kreft of the Super RTL network
said that the "burning log" film which plays from three until
six in the morning is common but is distinguishable from an actual blaze.
"Once I heard an old lady poured water on her TV," she said.
"But most people should really be able to tell the difference." Never Pay Cash After Robbing a Casino FLORENCE,
Colo. - If you are going to rob a casino, it might not be a good idea
to buy a $6,000 used Harley-Davidson motorcycle with a stack of $20 bills.
Jason Cody Jones, a former guard at J.P. McGill's casino in Cripple Creek,
learned this the hard way. He robbed the casino and then used the bills
to purchase the motorcycle, a pickup truck and police badges for the Victor
Police Department where he went to work after he quit the casino. When
he bought the truck, he told the dealership that he was from Cripple Creek
but had not won a jackpot in the town. After appearing in court on suspicion
of burglary and theft, he was released on $100,000 bond and will appear
in court again on Nov. 17. Trying to Get Out of a Speeding Ticket SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA
- Getting a speeding ticket isn't fun, but not many would go through the
effort Carlos DeMarco did to avoid one. The Sydney man was accused of
attempting to get out of two fines by taking a 70km/h speed limit sign
and sticking it under the speed camera that caught him in a 60km/h zone.
However, his plan fell apart when he was spotted taking pictures of the
sign and the speed camera as proof of his innocence. Traffic Authority
officers discovered the sign had been attached to a power pole with roofing
screws. The local court found out that DeMarco was caught speeding in
a 60km/h zone twice last year, doing 70km/h the first time and 75km/h
the second. In total, he ended up paying $1246 in fines and expenses. Stupid Traffic Ticket MADRID, Spain
- A driver was pulled over by highway police who thought he was on his
cell phone while motoring. However, lawyer Tomas Valdivielso was innocently
scratching his ear. As proof, he showed the two cops that the last call
on his phone was from the night before. The pair huddled, then returned
and slapped him with a $70 fine anyway. To Valdivielso's disbelief, the
officers charged him with driving while "holding his ear with his
right hand in a permanent fashion." "Am I on hidden camera?"
an amazed Valdivielso remembers asking. He filed a 10-page appeal that
says the fine did not say which ear was being held, or even how many ears
he has. He also argued that Spanish law does not ban scratching while
driving or make drivers pull over to do it. EAST ST.
LOUIS, Ill. - A man and a pay phone were rushed to the hospital after
he managed to get his finger firmly wedged in the coin return slot while
attempting to retrieve his change. Doctors gave Emanuel Fleming a painkiller
and pried his middle finger loose using a wooden device and lubricant.
Fleming had been trying to call his wife from the phone, but the line
was busy. When two passers-by were unable to help him, he used his free
hand to call 911. Emergency crews and a representative of the company
that owns the phone arrived at the scene, but were also unable to free
Fleming. Not knowing what else to do, ambulance crew members cut the phone
off at the base and brought it and Fleming to the hospital. The King of Sick Leave In New York
City, some are calling a 15-year veteran of the city's Department of Corrections
"the king of sick leave." Forty-nine-year-old officer George
Duncan was fired for abusing the sick-leave policy after taking 744 days
off in 15 years, an average of one sick day a week, the New York Post
reports. "This is one of the more egregious cases in recent years,"
says DOC spokesman Tom Antennen. "Thankfully, this is the exception,
not the rule." Duncan called in sick when he said he had high blood
pressure, but health officials didn't get elevated readings. He explained
medication eased his hypertension just before the health officials tested
his blood pressure. SPRINGFIELD,
Ill. - A 39-year-old man legally changed his name last month to reflect
his childhood nickname. The former Raymond Allen Gray Jr. shall now be
known as Bubba Bubba Bubba. Since he has long been referred to as "Bubba"
or "Bubby," he feels the name change won't be hard to get used
to. "My dad called me Buddy, and it got switched to Bubby. Some of
the kids couldn't pronounce Buddy too well, so they said Bubby, and it
just stuck," he said. Bubba had thought about changing his name to
Bubba Gray until a co-worker began calling him Bubba Bubba Bubba as a
joke. Another co-worker mistakenly thought that was his actual name. "That's
kind of what started me thinking: Well, let's just have it all the way
through - Bubba Bubba Bubba - first, middle and last," he remarked. PHNOM PENH
- A Cambodian man who discovered he had forgotten his wallet after filling
up his motorbike with petrol decided to pay for the gas with his nephew.
The nine-year-old boy Dy had been on a trip with his uncle in March 2002
to try and find his father in a nearby province. When their motorbike
ran out of petrol before making it to their destination, the uncle stopped
to fill it up and then realized he had no money. He convinced the lady
selling the petrol to take his nephew as a guarantee that he would return
with the cash. Almost two years later, he still hasn't come back. The
woman has decided to keep the child and raise him as her grandson. CLARKSTOWN,
New York - If you are going to impersonate a police officer, it might
not be a good idea to pull over an off-duty state trooper. Shalom Gelbman,
22, was charged with reckless endangerment and criminal impersonation
after he stopped a state trooper during his pretend cop act. With a strobe
light on his dashboard and his high beams flashing, Gelbman pulled over
a car on the Palisades Interstate Parkway. Driving the vehicle was state
Trooper Seamus Lyons, who arrested him after noticing Gelbman's license
plate number and the equipment in his car. Gelbman was also given a ticket
for driving without registration or insurance. He was later released on
$5,000 bail after being arraigned in Clarkstown Justice Court. Chronic Gambler Cuts off Finger HONG KONG
- A chronic gambler was able to save his marriage by lopping off his index
finger with a kitchen knife, a news report said on Tuesday. The 40-year-old's
wife wanted to divorce him because he managed to lose all his money during
a weekend of gambling. Although he made promises to stop gambling, she
refused to believe him. In an act of desperation, he took out a kitchen
knife and sliced off his right index finger in front of her to prove his
determination. The woman, from Zhanjiang, western Guangdong province,
was "deeply moved" by his act and decided to stay with him,
the newspaper said. NEW ORLEANS
- A man thought it would be funny to pretend to commit suicide while on
the phone with a friend. Police, however, were not laughing. William Singletary,
21, was arrested after a woman called 911 to report she was speaking to
Singletary, who claimed he was having relationship problems, when she
heard a gunshot. She told the cops she was not able to contact him after
that. Officers rushed to the home only to find Singletary alive and well.
Singletary told them that the fake suicide was meant to be a joke and
he refused to tell deputies where the gun was hidden. The pistol was finally
located in a barbeque pit at his home. Sheriff spokesman Hartman said
the joke endangered the lives of the deputies who hurried to the home
and the drivers who had to make way for them. ROME - In
an attempt to get his ex-girlfriend to feel sorry for him, a Sicily man
asked a friend to shoot him in the groin. Police in the city of Piazza
Armerina sensed something fishy when the 27-year-old went to the hospital
with wounds from a hunting rifle's pellets in his crotch. He said that
the wounds were a result of a hunting accident, but later admitted he
had asked his friend, 16, to shoot him in an attempt to win back his girlfriend,
who had left him because of his violent character. The man's wounds are
expected to heal. Police charged the man, and the 16-year-old, in connection
with the shooting. Reports reveal that the man's ex-girlfriend made it
clear she never wanted to see him again. SHEBOYGAN,
Wis. - A 7-year-old Wisconsin boy has learned the hard way vending machines
only accept money and not arms and heads. The Sheboygan Press reported
the unidentified youngster, waiting while his father used a pay phone,
became fascinated with a machine in which players maneuver a grabber-claw
to snag a stuffed animal. The boy decided to snag an animal by crawling
up through the dispensing chute, and promptly became stuck. The fire department
was summoned to extract the boy. His rescuers decided not to smash the
machine, but told the boy to be patient until a locksmith was found. To
spare him embarrassment, firefighters moved the machine to the back of
the Piggly Wiggly store for the hour-long wait. The boy was released unharmed,
but reportedly was desperate to find a washroom. Store managers declined
to comment on the incident, but said the store would probably get rid
of the game because of the mishap. Streakers Left Out in the Cold SPOKANE,
Wash. - Three men who thought it would be funny to streak through a Denny's
restaurant had the joke turned on them when a thief drove away in their
getaway car - with their clothes inside. As they stood naked in the 20-degree
weather, the three streakers huddled behind cars in a parking lot until
police came. "I don't think they were hiding. I think they were just
concealing themselves," police spokesman Dick Cottam said. The trio
had entered the restaurant wearing only shoes and hats, and had left the
car running so they could quickly escape. But they watched through the
windows as a man who had been dining inside drove off in their vehicle.
The streakers did not receive any charges for the incident. ALBANY, New
York - A man was pulled over by police for driving while watching porn.
You read that right. Andre Gainey was enjoying an adult video called "Chocolate
Foam" while driving his Mercedes Benz when he was caught by an officer
at a stop light. Detectives pulled him over when they saw the movie playing
in the car's headrests. When they stopped him, they noticed another screen
in the passenger-side visor that was facing Gainey, permitting him to
watch the movie while driving. According to Joe Pichi, a spokesman for
the state's Department of Motor Vehicles, this case is believed to be
the first of its kind in New York. "Our biggest problem is illegal
cell phone use while driving," Pichi said. "Drivers should be
driving." OTTAWA -
A student at Carleton University was having a spitting contest with friends
Saturday night when he plunged 11floors off a downtown high-rise to his
death. It appeared that Ameer "AJ" Jinah took a running start
in an attempt to spit further than his two friends when he accidentally
launched himself over the balcony railing. The leaping spitter was described
by security guard Jason Armstrong as" one of the classiest guys.
He had a maturity beyond his age." Actions speak louder than words
in this case... BOSTON -
Doctors were shocked to discover the reason for a patient's sore belly:
He had swallowed about 350 coins - $650 worth - along with some necklaces
and needles. The man went to the emergency room complaining of stomach
pain and that he could not eat or move his bowels. His family told doctors
that he sometimes swallowed coins, and a few had been removed from his
stomach before. Doctors were still taken aback to see the huge mass in
his stomach that turned out to weigh 12 pounds - so heavy that it had
forced his stomach down between his hips. Five days after his arrival,
doctors cut him open and removed his damaged stomach with its contents.
He died 12 days later from complications. One of his doctors, Bruno Francois,
said that he had been swallowing coins for about a decade despite his
family's attempts to keep coins and jewelry away from him. "When
he was invited and came in some homes, he liked to steal coins and eat
them," Francois said. BERLIN -
A German bondage fetishist was practicing at home when he got so chained
up that he had to call police to come release him. Police arrived at the
home and received no answer until the man came to the window and threw
out the house keys with his teeth. The officers were greeted by the sight
of a heavily-chained man waddling towards them on his knees with his head
down, wearing only shiny black leather and white socks. "To visualise
the appearance of the afflicted party, one would have to imagine a penguin
of waist-height waddling with slightly protruding wings," Aachen
police said in a statement. Police were able to release the man using
their own handcuff keys. "We suggested in the future that he go to
places where that sort of thing might cost a bit more, but would definitely
be safer for him," the spokesman said. IPSWICH,
England - A British court has told five warring neighbors in a village
cul-de-sac to smarten up or start paying fines for childish behavior.
The problems began a year ago after plasterer John Bell at No. 57 complained
about the noise from No. 56, occupied by Stephen Mucha and his wife Sharon.
He said the Muchas slammed doors, played loud music, turned up the TV
late at night and had two dogs who constantly barked. From there, all
five households turned the street into a petty series of alliances and
spats. It's alleged one family ordered mail-order lingerie for another
couple while others requested information on Viagra and a new car for
a neighbor. Police were routinely called to the small street, and some
families installed video cameras to monitor their neighbors' movements.
All nine people from the five homes were ordered to call a two-year truce
at the risk of fines ranging from $375 to $900 in what was called a year
of being "childish and silly." HOLLAND, Mich. - Some parents will name their son after the father, tacking a Jr. or II onto the end of his name. This tradition was apparently too common for one engineering techie who decided to add 2.0 to his newborn son's name. Jon Blake Cusack persuaded his wife, Jamie, into naming their child Jon Blake Cusack 2.0. Version 2.0 was born at Holland Community Hospital last Tuesday, and he was taken home Friday. Cusack said he wanted to name his son something different and came up with the idea a few months ago. After encouraging his wife to go along with it, she finally conceded a week before the birth. The proud parents sent out an electronic birth announcement after 2.0's birth. "I wrote in the birth announcement e-mail stuff, like there's a lot of features from version 1.0 with additional features from Jamie," said papa Cusack.
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