JFK Jr. (and Kennedy Humor)

(Generally Tasteless)

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Q. Why didn't JFK, Jr. take a shower before he left for the Vineyard?
A. He said he'd wash up on shore!

Q. What do Kennedies miss most about Martha's Vineyard?
A. The runway.

Q. What will it take to bring the first family back together?
A. One more bullet!

Q. Why was JFK, Jr. flying to the Vineyard?
A. He wanted to crash his cousin's wedding.

Q. What will they name the movie about JFK, Jr.?
A. Eyes Wide Shut.
A. Three funerals and a wedding.

Q. Why would JFK JR fly after seeing the weather reports?
A. His other choice was riding in Uncle Teddy's car.

Q:  What do JFK, Jr.'s friends call him now?
A:  Chum!

Q. What was JFK, Jr. drinking when his plane went down?
A. Ocean Spray!

Q.  Why were they having trouble finding JFK, Jr's plane?
A.  Because his flight actions constituted wreckless behavior.

Used to be that Kennedy's drowned their women one at a time!

We hear JFK, Jr. has changed his name to "Bob".

Following are the 3 main causes of death in the US today:
1.  Cancer
2.  Heart disease
3.  Being a member of the Kennedy family.

Q: What do John F. Kennedy Jr. and a penguin have in common? 
A: They're both cute to look at, but neither one can fly worth a damn.

Q: Why should JFK have been buried at sea?
A: So Uncle Ted could drive to the funeral!

Q: What was the last movie that JFK, Jr. saw?

Q: What's the difference between Teddy & John-John?
A: Teddy only drowns one girl at a time!

Q: What's the new nickname of John John?
A: John Buoy.

Q: If the Kennedys are like royalty in the US, what is JFK Jr's title?
A: Prince of Tides!

What are some tips when being around the Kennedys?

1. Don't fly with Joe or JFK Jr.
2. Don't get in a boat with Jack.
3. Don't ride in a convertible with Jack.
4. Don't ride with Ted unless a window is down.
5. Stay out of Bobby's way in the kitchen.
6. Don't go skiing with Michael.
7. Don't let Michael baby-sit your kids.
8. Don't go out on a date with William Kennedy Smith.

Q: What's the difference between a golfer and a Kennedy?
A: A golfer goes whack, then says fuck! A Kennedy says fuck, then whack!

Everyone keeps saying how good looking and popular JFK, Jr. was.

It just goes to show that he was twice the lady killer as his uncle Ted.

Q: How many Kennedys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Who knows? Kennedys don't last as long as light bulbs and are not as bright.

Q: Why was the search called off so quickly?
A: They positively identified a hunk and two pieces of ass.

Even though the wedding had been called off, they still made good use of the priest!

Michael Kennedy and JFK Jr. both did a lot in their lifetime and were dying to get into politics.

I just don't know who had the greater impact!

Q: What do Bob Dole and JFK jr. have in common?
A: They both couldn't get it up if their lives depended on it!

Q: What was JFK Jr's last words?
A: "I said pull back the joystick, not pull out the joystick."

What did the board of directors do at George Magazine when they heard JFK Jr had died?
They swore in Lyndon Baines Johnson, Jr as the new editor-in-chief.

Q: Did you hear that JFK Jr is laying in state?
A: The state of Massachusetts, the state of Rhode Island, and the state of Connecticut.

Q: What was the temperature off of Martha's Vineyard about a year ago?
A: Three below!

Q: What do Kennedys' fear most?
A: Old age and dying of natural causes.

Q: Why are none of the Kennedy's boxers?
A: Because they can't take a shot to the head!

Q. What did John-John and Caroline Kennedy get for Xmas in 1963 that they really didn't want?
A. A Jack in the box!

Q: If the Kennedys are like royalty in the US, what is JFK Jr's title?
A: Prince of Tides!

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