I'll Have a Latte and a Wedding COEUR D'ALENE,
ID. - If you find yourself cruising around Idaho and have a sudden urge
for a latte and a marriage, be sure to stop in and see Reverend Al Holm
at his Sacred Grounds caffeine-and-commitment emporium. What used to be
a pizza counter in the back of the A-n-D Mini Mart is now the location
for Holm's pulpit where he legally binds a man and woman into holy matrimony.
For a simple $50 donation, Holm will perform the ceremony, return the
marriage license to the courthouse, making the union legal, and you'll
be saying "I do" before your cappuccino gets cold. NEW ZEALAND
- In the United States, people must be 18 years of age to purchase tobacco
products, and 21 to consume alcoholic beverages. The country of New Zealand
is considering putting an age limit on how old you must be to purchase
junk food. Local health officials want the ban written into a new health
law to meet concerns of child obesity. Perhaps feeling that parents aren't
doing enough to keep their kids off of unhealthy foods, the government
wants to step in and make it illegal for a youngster to purchase a hamburger.
So if you happen to visit New Zealand, make sure you have your I.D. with
you, in case you have a hankering for a Snickers. School Prank Glues Doors Shut JACKSONVILLE,
FL - Students at First Coast High found themselves attending classes in
the schools auditorium last week after the doors to their classrooms were
found super-glued shut. Locksmiths are now at the school working to replace
the glued locks with new ones. According to one official, "More than
120 doors were glued. They [the vandals] not only did the classroom doors,
of which there are at least 85, but they did every door in the building."
School officials say they hope that whoever is responsible for the damage
will brag to their friends with word eventually getting to them so they
can apprehend the vandals. British Cops Are Standing Tall ENGLAND -
Police officers in England are standing tall, still and flat in the fight
against crime. In order to scare away potential criminals, several cops
have acted as models to provide their community with a batch of cardboard
"cut out" police officers. Police feel the scheme will provide
local community reassurance and improve police visibility. The phony figurines
will be placed in crime hotspots throughout English neighborhoods. SACRAMENTO,
Calif. - The Sacramento jury commissioner's office warned that if Lucille
Marie Gordon did not show up to her allotted jury duty date, there would
a bench warrant out for her arrest. Caryn Gordon thought this was hilarious.
Why? Because Lucille, or Lucy, is her dog. Last year, the chocolate Labrador
retriever received a summons for jury duty in Sacramento Superior Court.
Caryn read the summons and sent the form back in, writing where it reads,
"affidavit for disqualification," she put, "Lucy is a dog"
and sent it in. Earlier this month, Lucy got another summons. When Caryn
called the office, the employee claimed they had heard every excuse imaginable.
Caryn ended up having to show proof that Lucy might not serve too well
on the jury, especially if a cat was the defendant. Horny Housewives Strip Cop JERUSALEM
- A case of mistaken identity had a flock of horny ladies tearing the
clothes off of a police officer in Israel. The officer responded to neighbors'
complaints about a rowdy group of women next door. Coincidentally, the
young women had been awaiting the arrival of a male stripper, specifically
told to come in police attire. As the officer tried to explain who he
really was, revelers thought it was all part of the act and began to take
off his clothes and 'stroke' him. He was finally torn away from the clasps
of the young women after his partner showed up and vouched for his identity.
Tinker the Cat Hits the Jackpot LONDON - Stories of crazy old women living alone with their cats are not scarce. Tinker the cat hit the jackpot when he befriended Margaret Layne, 89, of London. The widow passed away and left her $562,000 house and a trust fund of $160,000 to Tinker. Her will states that if Tinker, who has lifelong residency at the house, should stray again the trustees will be entitled to bring the trust to an end. When Tinker dies the estate will pass to the trustees who are former neighbors of Layne's. Tinker is about eight. Layne has no children. Indians Getting High on Scorpions INDIA - Tired
of your average, every day recreational drugs? Why not get your fix with
a hit of scorpion. No, it's not the name of a new mind altering pill;
we're talking about the clawed arachnid with that creepy stinging tail.
The trendy and elite in India's wealthy western state of Gujarat are turning
to the sting of a scorpion to get their kicks. They drive to the coastal
town of Bharuch where locals have put up stalls under trees and keep a
number of the creatures in tin cans with perforated lids. For about $3,
thrill-seekers can obtain a scorpion, which is placed on the customer
and viciously stings them. Users say after the initial pain the venom
produces an illusionary, floating feeling. Vendors say the poison will
not kill you. Russian Official Gives Police Officer a Beating MOSCOW -
Russian Parliament Member Vladislav Dyomin and two of his aides were stopped
on the street in the early morning last week for erratic behavior. As
soon as the first officer stepped out of his car Dyomin screamed, "Beat
the cops!" and punched him in the face with his fist. The three then
stole golf clubs from a nearby sport-utility vehicle and set to on the
officers with gusto. The altercation didn't break up until another police
car arrived on the scene. Dyomin then produced his Duma documents -- which
give him immunity from prosecution -- and walked away free. One of his
aides fled while the other was detained. Not surprisingly, the trio had
been drinking. Strange Junk VANCOUVER,
B.C. - Can you believe someone got rid of 1900 pounds of frozen animal
carcasses? And who in their right mind would dump a hefty collection of
Braille "Playboy" magazines? These items are just a couple of
the bizarre things that the junk toters at 1-800-GOT-JUNK? have hauled
away. Other bizarre loads include one ton of expired sardines from a Mexican
grocery store, 1200 pounds of concrete animal lawn ornaments, half a truck-full
of herbal breast enlargement pills and a bunch of prosthetic legs. Though
most items end up getting pitched, some are donated to the needy, such
as the butt massager that was given to a charity house. A heavy-set
man on a 10-speed bike rides up to women walking on Philadelphia streets,
stops, gropes them, and then pedals off. The Philadelphia Inquirer says
it happened four times one morning this week and the man is still on the
loose. "I was just walking up the street... and all of a sudden this
man that I didn't know came up on the left side of me and grabbed my chest,"
one woman told the paper. "I was just shocked. I stood there for,
like, five seconds, and he just calmly rode away and turned on Spruce."
In another instance, police said the guy rode up behind a woman, grabbed
her buttocks, and rode away. LONDON -
For those of you who think that the majority of Britons are prudish and
conservative, a recent survey might have you thinking again. The study
showed that two-thirds of English residents have had sex in a car. The
website safeoutdoorsex.com polled 1,500 people and found that most Britons
are quite uninhibited when it comes to fooling around. The study also
showed that 94 percent of respondents thought outdoor sex was a good way
to maintain an exciting relationship. Almost half of those surveyed admitted
to have done the wild thing in a random field. BANGKOK -
When competing with other cabs for passengers, it can be difficult for
drivers to gain an edge. However, one cabbie has found a way to spruce
up his passengers' taxi ride while making himself some good cash. Vichian
Simma installed a karaoke system in his cab when Bangkok's streets became
too dull. The former audio equipment salesman quit his day job, bought
himself a cab and now enjoys a much more profitable occupation. According
to the innovative cabbie, "Some can't get enough, especially if they've
just left the bar. Others tell me to drive around for a bit so they can
sing." Though he makes decent money from the idea, one can only imagine
the headache Simma has at the end of the night. BATTLE MOUNTAIN,
NV. - An article featured in the Washington Post Magazine last year has
Old Spice sponsoring a festival in a small Nevada town. After the author
of the article, Gene Weingarten, referred to Battle Mountain, Nevada as
the armpit of the U.S., Old Spice became the principle sponsor of the
"Festival of the Pit" in August. The author chose the town for
its "lack of character and charm," claiming the city was filled
with unsightly buildings and nasty people. The festival will feature events
such as an armpit beauty pageant, a sweat t-shirt contest and a "quick-draw"
antiperspirant contest. Prostitutes Going Behind the Camera SAN FRANCISCO
- Some prostitutes are tired of continually being negatively portrayed
in movies. So, several have decided to get off their backs and on their
feet to create a film festival of their own. The 3rd San Francisco Sex
Worker Film and Video Festival takes place May 23-26 and features close
to 50 films that are either about the sex industry or made by prostitutes
themselves. One example includes a documentary about transgendered immigrant
prostitutes in Italy. Another serves as an educational tool about the
proper techniques for vulva massage. Though the festival's organizer admits
much of the sex worker cinema is highly arousing, she stands by her claim
that the festival's real mission is to bring light to the connection between
prostitution and the arts. SAN DIEGO
- Tired of the mess that accompanies a typical spaghetti dinner, one man
has invented a meal that brings it all together in one easy-to-eat sandwich.
Entrepreneur Damien Devine has turned his favorite fourth grade lunch
into a catering business called Devine Pastabilities. Devine has created
a spread of traditional dinners and jammed them into sandwich form. Some
include subs stuffed with lasagna, fettucine alfredo and meatless "veggie
balls." While sales have been good, Devine has branched out farther
and created a delight that is sure to like hot cakes come November. His
turkey dinner sub comes equipped with mashed potatoes, turkey, cranberry
and gravy all stuffed into a torpedo roll. AUSTRALIA
- James Kearney defied all odds by earning himself a Bachelor of Music
from the Australian National University. In what could be a world first,
Kearney is the only known graduate to receive a music degree who has been
deaf since birth. He was born with hearing loss of 90 decibels out of
120, and the sounds he hears are distorted. Even so, he remains an enthusiastic
and competent pianist. HONG KONG
- Some people name their children after great ancestors, others go with
significant meanings and a few parents go so far as to name their children
after important current events during the birth. A couple in China have
named their baby son Saddam Sars to mark the two important events taking
place during his arrival into the world. The boy was born on March 20,
the day the Iraq war broke out and at the time when alarm over the Sars
outbreak was spreading across Asia. SAN FRANCISCO
- One of the most technologically advanced areas in the world is going
back to the old way of doing the landscaping. San Francisco International
Airport has enlisted the services of Goats-R-Us to clear grass on the
land. High grass can be a potential fire hazard, so the airport brought
in the goats to chomp on the vegetation. For a period of two weeks, a
shepherd will keep an eye on the goats as they graze the land. The area,
safe from landing and departing planes, is about a mile from the tarmac
and separated by a highway. Ticketed for Illegal Squatting BRONX, N.Y.
- If you think you've received a dumb citation from a police officer for
a pointless violation, chances are Jesse Taveras has you beat. The 19-year-old
man was issued a ticket for simply sitting on a milk crate in front of
the hair-braiding salon where he works. In complete bewilderment, Taveras
read the summons that cited him for "unauthorized use of a milk crate."
Though it may seem like a foolish punishment, the crate clearly stated:
"Use by anyone but registered owner is liable to prosecution, article
17A, General Business Law." Because of his illegal squatting, Taveras
will have to miss his trip to the Dominican Republic, forfeiting a $700
plane ticket, so he can make his appearance in court. Prehistoric Prom Theme PENNSBURY,
Pa. - One of the most memorable experiences in a high school student's
career is their senior prom. The students at one Pennsylvania school make
their night one they'll never forget by coming up with creative ways to
make a grand entrance into the milestone ball. This year's eye-catcher
came in prehistoric fashion as Shannon Horn and her date rode in atop
a mechanical dinosaur. The clever Promasaurus was accompanied by other
modes of transportation that included shopping carts, ice cream trucks,
Barbie Corvettes and even a helicopter landing. Though the dinosaur was
impressive, my praise would have gone towards the senior who arrived with
her date on a rented dog sled pulled by five Huskies. Golfer Struck Twice by Lightning A person's
chances of being struck by lightning are about 2 million-to-one - about
the same as winning a $1 million lottery. The chances of being struck
twice are about three million-to-one. The chances of getting struck twice
in half an hour? No clue. Unfortunately, pub manager Vincenzo Frascella,
50, knows exactly what it feels like. While playing a round of golf, he
was struck on the 14th and 17th holes of the Orton Meadows Golf Course
in Peterborough, Cambridgeshire. Both times bolts struck the tip of his
umbrella as he sheltered during storms. Frascella felt the first hit go
down his arm, while the second went through his shoulder blade. He described
the sensation as being pricked by needles. Making Meat Grow on Trees MANCHESTER,
England - Though scientists still haven't found a way to make money grow
on trees, they have managed to genetically engineer fruit trees that bear
fresh meat. Appropriately named Meat Trees, these plants give birth to
fruit that closely resemble ordinary grapefruit. However, once the peel
is removed, fresh beef is unveiled. After 12 years of hard work and research,
the reportedly "simple" concept has become a reality. Now scientists
claim that vegetarians can have their steak and eat it too as no animals
are harmed during the process that splices key proteins from cattle genes
into the reproductive cells of grapefruit trees. Carnies Getting Laid Regularly FORT LAUDERDALE,
Fla. - If you're looking for a job that will give you an opportunity to
see the world and have anonymous sex with lusty women, try working at
a carnival. Brett Witter, author of a new book, "Carnival Undercover,"
claims that an amazing percentage of women have the hots for men who work
at carnivals. The women who carnies affectionately call "lot lizards"
are primarily interested in having meaningless sex with a stranger, particularly
one who's on his way out of town shortly. However, not all carnies get
the amorous treatment. Those who run the ball-tossing games and shooting
galleries are more likely to hook-up than the poor saps who run the food
booths or take tickets for the Ferris wheel. BERLIN -
A German flasher exposing himself to a woman in a forest was forced to
run for cover when she set her three small pug dogs on him, police said
on Friday. The man, who was about 30, was naked when he surprised the
55-year-old woman with the dogs. "He had Bermuda shorts and a T-shirt
in one hand and his private parts in the other," said a police spokesman.
The woman prompted the lap dogs into action, one of which bit the man
on the calf before he fled through the trees. "The dog was too small
to bite him anywhere else," the spokesman said. The man is still
on the loose. Fake Nun Busted in Smuggling Scheme SAN DIEGO
- Maribel Carreon Sanchez disguised herself as a nun and attempted to
smuggle an immigrant at the San Ysidro Port of Entry between San Diego
and Tijuana. She now faces charges after U.S. inspectors found an adult
woman hidden in a secret compartment of her vehicle. Sanchez was wearing
a black and white nun's habit and presented a visa issued to someone else.
Agents found a Mexican woman hidden in a 3-foot-long customized compartment
that was equipped with an electronically controlled latch and hydraulic
lifts. BERLIN -
A common frustrating scenario for parents is when their children won't
cooperate in public. A mother in Germany ran into this problem when her
8-year-old daughter was seated in front of the school dentist. Afraid
to open her mouth, the young girl refused to let the dentist check her
teeth. Since the child would not comply with the dentist's requests, the
child's mother was subsequently fined $116. Local authorities imposed
the fine and the court upheld the decision. As ridiculous as it may sound,
the mother has no choice but to pay the fine. Asthmatic Sails Into the Sunset CREMONA,
Italy - Six-year-old Niky Frascisco suffers from an acute type of asthma
that often sentences him to vast amounts of time in bed and has him popping
pills like a junky. To improve their son's condition, and way of life,
Niky's parents have decided the only thing to do is to live at sea where
the clean air can infest his lungs. They built an 85 foot boat and took
off down the River Po from the northern Italian city of Cremona. When
the reach the sea they will make for the waters near Sicily where they
plan to stay. The Frascisco's plan on making a living by taking tourists
our on their homemade boat for short trips. Niky will attend school using
a Webcam that will allow him to see a classroom in an elementary school
in Liapari, a small island near Sicily. Sick Dolls Coming to a Store Near You CHICAGO,
IL - There's a new toy on the market for those of you out there with a
sick sense of humor. Giantmicrobes, Inc. is set to release toys mimicking
the common cold, flu, sore throat and stomach aches and will soon release
microbe dolls for athlete's foot and bad breath. The new line of fuzzy
plush dolls were originally expected to be used for educational purposes
by doctors and teachers, but a large part of interest has come from the
general public. CEO Drew Oliver has been receiving lots of inquiries on
whether or not he plans to create a SARS doll. Due to its current controversial
nature, Oliver plans on steering clear of that one. Nursing Someone Else's Child a No-No OKLAHOMA
- Breast-feeding an infant in the middle of a day care center is one thing.
Breast-feeding someone else's infant in the middle of a day care center
is a completely different story. Shannon Denny, a 32-year-old lawyer,
was charged with an outraging public decency count, a misdemeanor. Denney,
whose own daughter attended the day care facility, tried to comfort the
crying baby. After several methods proved no good, she whipped out her
boob and let the little one go to town. With her own daughter present,
she looked over to her child and told her the feeding was "our little
secret." Terrier Raids Convenience Store NORWAY -
If you walk into a convenience store and start eating food without paying
for it, you're going to get busted for theft, no matter what species you
happen to be. A hungry Staffordshire bull terrier with a sweet tooth ended
up behind bars after a night raid on a gas station. Security cameras recorded
the dog, Conan, sifting through various brands of chocolate in search
of his favorite, chocolate covered rice crisp. Once he found what he was
looking for, Conan devoured the contents of the container. The night employee
tried to chase the dog out but was met with a fierce growl. Police were
called onto the scene to take the dog away. If You Think it's a Fart - Ask NORWAY -
Had the crew of an air ambulance spoken up, they would have found out
earlier that the foul smell wasn't coming from the patient they were transporting.
Noticing a distinct stench that resembled cabbage, crew members thought
the odor was coming from their gassy patient. Only later did they realize
that the scent was actually melting wire insulation that resulted in flames
flickering up from the front window. After an emergency landing, everyone
was able to breathe a deep sigh of relief. Free Sex for Returning Troops If you thought
our troops were fast in Iraq, you should witnessthe flood of soldiers
rushing their way to Carson City, Nevada, where prostitution is legal.
The first 50 soldiers to arrive at the Moonlight Bunnyranch will receive
a free session of hot sex. Instead of a compass, toothbrush and soap,
the pack handed to soldiers includes condoms, lubricant and a free sex
session - with a value of up to $1,000. However, not all hope is lost
for those who don't get there first. The brothel is offering a 50 percent
discount on all its services to servicemen and women for 50 days after
the first offer expires. KENTUCKY
- Yes, folks, the Bluegrass State, home to Loretta Lynn, the Kentucky
Wildcats and naked boat oar spanking. At least according to Prestonsburg
police. They found Melissa Coleman and Anthony Scott Ward in a compromising
position last week in Archer Park and arrested them for disorderly conduct.
Police say Coleman was bound to a picnic table with leather straps and
was being spanked by Ward with a boat oar. Coleman is denying the charges
and says the incident has been blown out of proportion. A park representative
says, "They were about 1,000 feet from the playground and the softball
fields were not in use. You know we hate that this happened but we can't
always stop these kinds of things." Imagine having
a relaxing morning reading the newspaper at your kitchen table when you
look up to see a 200-pound buck just inches from your face. This was the
case for Northbrook woman Julie Ann Somenek on Monday morning when a deer
crashed through her living room window to escape the pursuit of a neighbor's
dog. After the deer knocked a shocked Somenek right off her chair, it
headed for the laundry room. Thinking fast, Somenek was able to lock the
buck in the room and call the police who arrived and devised a clever
plan. Leaving the back door open, a courageous soul opened the laundry
room door and quickly moved aside to allow the buck to run out the open
door. The plan worked, however, the laundry room was left in disarray. Man / Woman Missing Over 50 Years CALGARY,
Alberta -- The family of a 76-year-old woman who left her Calgary home
in 1950 and began living as a man is looking for answers Monday. After
a story about the missing woman in the Calgary Sun Sunday, calls came
in to the newspaper from the neighboring province of Saskatchewan identifying
the woman who has lived as a man for most of her life. Siblings confirmed
"Michael" was in fact their sister, Mary Schnaider. The woman
left the family farm when she was 24 for a restaurant job, and was never
heard from again. A rooming house landlord reported Michael missing after
his tenant of eight years failed to return last Tuesday and police found
Michael wandering the streets last week. Michael apparently suffers from
increasing dementia. OTTAWA -
A Canadian art show that features excrement on a gallery wall has created
controversy over funding, the Ottawa Sun reported Friday. On June 19,
Ottawa's SAW Gallery will open Scatalogue: 30 Years of Crap in Contemporary
Art. The five-week show is a multimedia interactive exhibition dedicated
to excrement. That's raised the ire of Member of Parliament Chuck Strahl,
disturbed the gallery receives $50,000 in federal funding every two years
from the Canada Council for the Arts. The city also provides the gallery
with $26,500 annually in operating funds. Curator Stefan St-Laurent, who
runs the gallery with his twin brother Jason, thought things might eventually
hit the fan. "At least people are talking about art," he said. AUSTRALIA
- Aren't those new cell phones, with the attachable camera, totally awesome?
The YMCAs of Australia don't think so. Cell phones are being banned from
swimming pools and locker rooms amid fears that camera phones are being
misused. The ban will affect more than 300 gyms, pools and sports centers
across the country. People using changing rooms will no longer be able
to take their mobile phones with them. There have been cases reported
around the world of people using camera phones to take illicit photographs.
So, ladies, before you disrobe in the locker room, make sure that creepy
person at the next locker doesn't have a cell phone on her. Slipped Disk Ends Tryst in Sports Car LONDON -
Two lovers discovered a tiny sports car leaves a lot to be desired as
a midnight trysting spot. Wedged into a two-seater, a near-naked man was
suddenly immobilized by a slipped disk, trapping his woman companion beneath
him, according to a doctor writing in a medical journal here. The desperate
woman attempted to summon help by honking the horn with her foot. A doctor-ambulanceman,
fireman and a group of passers-by quickly surrounded the car in Regent's
Park. "The lady found herself trapped beneath 200 pounds of pain-wracked
immoblile man." said Dr. Brian Richards. "To free the couple,
firemen had to cut away the car frame," he added. The distraught
woman, helped out of the car and into a coat sobbed, "How am I going
to explain to my husband what has happened to his car?" When You Start Pissing Beetles... NEW DELHI,
India - If you're going to the bathroom and you begin to urinate blood,
there is an understandable cause for concern. However, if your pee produces
winged beetles, get to the hospital immediately. A 13-year-old boy has
begun producing the insects after hatching the eggs in his body. After
an examination, doctors found eggs of the beetle in a fistula in his body.
The beetles -- more than half a centimeter in length -- belong to the
Staphylinidae rove beetle family of insects. An expert in urology, Doctor
N. Subramanian, said that in theory it was possible for insects to hatch
in the body and come out in urine but said he had not heard of such a
case. NEW DELHI,
India - Arranged marriages can be so unfair, especially if you're only
a nine-year-old girl. Perhaps the only thing worse than being married
to someone you hardly know at the age of 9 is the fact that your hubby
is a dog. The young girl was married off to a dog in the presence of more
than 100 people in eastern India under a tribal custom to protect the
child from evil. According to Santhal belief, if a child's first tooth
appears on the upper gum he or she is in grave danger that can only be
warded off by a marriage with a canine. Fortunately, the child can remarry
a human after growing up. Lassoing Gators Can Get You in Trouble FLORIDA -
A Lake County man learned the hard way that it is illegal to save a woman
and four children from a threatening alligator by lassoing it, cowboy-style.
Michael McCormick said that he was driving when he saw the reptile crossing
the road toward a woman holding two infants and had two children at her
side. McCormick pulled over, made a loop out of some rope and tossed it
over the gator. He then dragged the gator to the edge of a chain-link
fence surrounding a retention pond. He told a friend to call the police
while he kept the creature corralled. When the police arrived, he released
the gator and it crawled back under the fence and into the pond. Much
to his surprise McCormick was issued a $180 citation by a state game official
for possession of a gator. He argued that he would not have called police
if he thought what he was doing was against the law. While the citation
was later thrown out, he is certain of one thing: If he was put in the
same situation again, he would exactly the same thing. Chicken Sent Aloft by Prankster SAN FRANCISCO
- An unsuspecting chicken named Amelia was harnessed to 100 helium balloons
and sent aloft last Saturday in San Francisco by an anonymous prankster.
Amelia wafted into a tangle of power lines and was rescued by a police
marksman, who shot pellets at the balloons and brought her down. She was
taken to the nearby animal shelter to be adopted. Kat Brown, deputy director
of the shelter, remarked, "This is a great chicken, a friendly chicken,
a chicken that is ready for a relationship Foam dancing,
the newest craze as seen on MTV and at the trendiest clubs, is the 21st
century version of break dancing. The foam, which is trucked in and fills
the dance floor to more than 3 feet high, envelops the dancers' bodies
as they gyrate to the top music on the charts. When the dancing is over,
the foam simply drips dry. Although the foam makes the dancers a little
damp, the real fun is in moving it around, according to The Great Escape,
in Lake George, N.Y. The theme park is planning to host Foam Dance parties
every Friday in July and every Thursday in August. Children under 48 inches
must be accompanied by an adult. Sexomnia Keeping You Up at Night? If you wake
up in the middle of the night to discover that your partner is trying
to have sex with you, this may be a good thing. However, if your partner
is doing this while sound asleep, it might not be so good. He or she may
suffer from sexsomnia, a disorder that causes people to engage in sexual
behavior while asleep. The cause of this disorder is at the time unknown,
but may be due to stress, chronic sleepiness, or alcohol or drug abuse.
Although this nocturnal sex is considered odd, it is still within present
social norms, especially if the partner is a willing participant. Apparently,
some sexsomniacs are better lovers unconscious then they are awake. A Utah man
is signing up people to be made into mummies when they die. Corky Ra tells
The Los Angeles Times 1,400 people have agreed to sign over their life
insurance policies, worth at least $74,000 each, to be mummified by his
patented Permanent Body Preservation System. Summum Mummification has
a guarantee. "You will stay like this for eternity," Ra promises.
"There will be no decomposition." So far, he says, he's received
requests from football players looking to be preserved in athletic poses,
military men wanting to be mummified in uniform and a radio talk show
host hoping to grasp a microphone for eternity. Ultra-Miniature Bible Produced To the naked
eye, it looks like a fleck of tile decorated with the Greek letters alpha
and omega. But magnified by a factor of 600 it the world's most portable
copy of the New Testament. According to the latest version of Guinness
Book of World Records, the 5-millimeter-square tablet is the smallest
reproduction yet of a printed book. It was created in 2001 by two scientists
in the field of object recognition, Pawan Sinha and Pamela R. Lipson of
Cambridge, Mass., who call it a tool for archiving and authentication,
The New York Times reports. They developed software that allowed them
to write in gold on a crystalline silicon chip, using a font with letters
each 4 microns high... about the height of a red blood cell. A man in
Cologne admitted to having sex with a blonde hitchhiker sitting astride
him when he drove his car into a road sign. He was only fined because
he fled the scene of the incident with his naked passenger. Court spokesman
Juergen Mannebeck remarked, "It's hard to believe but in fact no
law was broken with the intercourse on the motorcourse. It's a situation
lawmakers never thought about." The man was also ordered to pay 400
euros to fix the sign he damaged. He had no clue when asked the name of
his naked accomplice who left her clothes behind in the car. Pet Bird Repeatedly Dialing 911 A lonely
22-year-old man from Palm Beach was arrested for calling 911 over 900
times since May, taxing dispatchers and police. Howard V. Hill Jr. would
call and claim that an officer had been shot, indicated that he wanted
to shoot an officer with a bow and arrow or just made animal noises into
the phone. When questioned about the calls, Hill told police that the
culprit was his friend "Jimmy" and he would make sure the calls
would stop. However, the calls kept on coming, and Hill later admitted
that "Jimmy" was his pet bird. Runaway Monkey Trashes Pizzeria BERLIN, Germany
- The owner of a pizzeria tried to pacify an escaped circus monkey with
salad and rolls, but to no avail. The one and a half foot tall Rhesus
monkey entered through the front door and was lured into the woman's bathroom
by the owner and a cook. However, once Lala was locked inside, she managed
to break a vase on the window, toss all the paper towels into the sink
and turned on the tap, flooded both toilets, the kitchen and part of the
dining room. Lala had escaped from its cage five days earlier at a circus
near Braunschweig, six miles away. Anatomically Correct Hulk Doll A little
girl received quite a shock when she removed the purple shorts of her
Incredible Hulk doll and discovered that the green monster was very anatomically
correct. Six-year-old Leah Lowland noticed a lump on the stuffed monster
she won, catchphrase "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry,"
at a seaside fair. After discovering the Hulk's two-inch manhood, the
horrified girl immediately ran to her mother Kim to report the find. Kim
called to put a ban on the saucy toy claiming that kids should not be
exposed to this kind of thing. Maybe Baskin
Robbins can use this as their flavor of the month...ice cream mixed with
a subtle taste of Newcastle Brown Ale. The dessert, created by the Doddington
Dairy in Northumberland, is currently only available in England on a limited
release. If the public reacts favorably to the beer flavored treat, it
could be headed for the export market in the near future. For those worried
about eating and driving, only about one percent alcohol is left after
processing.. Kids Spanked for Abusing Parrot It was a
bad day over at Soper's Clock World in North Carolina when William Soper's
beloved parrot suddenly squawked the "F" word while two boys
were talking to it. An angry Soper went up to one of the boys, Matthew
Bustle, smacked his bottom and told them to leave if they couldn't behave.
Soper believed that the boy taught the parrot to curse because it had
never uttered an expletive before. He said that the boys were also spitting
on Sparky, which in itself justifies the spanking because he had to protect
his $13, 000 parrot. Soper now faces a misdemeanor assault charge for
spanking Bustle and will face up to 60 days in jail if convicted. When wrestlers
Georgy Bibilauri and Dzhambulat Khotokhov took to the mat Wednesday, they
both hoped for a victory. However, when the match ended in a tie, they
settled for ice cream instead. Since the pair are only 4 years old, they're
fairly easy to please, especially when it involves food. Khotokhov from
Russia and Tbilisi native Bibilauri are the world's largest preschoolers.
Khotokhov weighs 123 pounds at a height of 3 feet 11 inches and Bibilauri
weighs 112 pounds at a height of 4 feet. According to wrestling champion
Levan Tediashvili, who refereed the match, the two boys give off positive
vibes and show great sportsmanship. Getting Married at the Town Dump Most people
get married in a church or a backyard, but for Rockie Graham and Dave
Hart, it's all about the town dump. Since the couple met at the town of
Bethel, Maine's transfer station, they figure they might as well tie the
knot there. They plan to be transported in a bucket loader driven by an
attendant at the station. To prepare for the big day, people have been
donating returnable containers for the couple's honeymoon fund. Graham
plans to don a conservative dress for the wedding and Hart will wear a
tuxedo, but they are also seeking ways to incorporate recycled items into
their wedding apparel. Although the pair haven't set a date yet, regulars
to the transfer station are already making suggestions for the perfect
dump wedding. A phallic-shaped
hotel in the city of Guilin in China was adorned with a bright yellow
condom to celebrate U.N. World Population Day in the most populated nation
in the world. The Guilin Latex Company applied to the publishers of the
Guinness Book of World Records for recognition of their giant rubber,
measuring 80 meters in length and almost 100 meters around, as the world's
biggest. The condom cost more than 200,000 yuan ($24,000) to display and
carried the message: "Control population growth, pay attention to
sexual health, prevent AIDS." INDIA - While
trimming plants in his back garden, a doctor accidentally cut a hidden
cobra in two... but not before the venomous serpent sank his fangs into
the man's palm. After attempting to shake off the severed snake, the doctor
panicked and proceeded to chop off his the hand that the cobra had latched
on to. Though his hand could not be saved, the doctor's bizarre reaction
may have saved his life. When someone
cuts a good one in a crowded elevator or bus, the waft can be almost suffocating.
For hundreds of cattle on long voyages across the globe, such gassy emissions
have been lethal. Cows fart themselves to death by emitting fatally high
levels of ammonia during the lengthy trips. In the cramped, hot and poorly
ventilated cattle holds, the ammonia-rich gas can quickly cause respiratory
problems and death. A cause for concern was raised last year when one
voyage found fatalities to 900 cows. A Butt Bra for Your Sagging Behind If your derriere
has gotten a little droopy, then the "butt bra" is for you.
This device will hoist a sagging rear to perkier, more glorious heights
and is called the Biniki (not to be confused with a bikini). It is made
of nylon and elastic straps and lingerie hooks. The creator of this butt
booster, Karin Hart, became obsessed with helping her bottom fight gravity
after she lost 15 pounds in a month and looked like she had "elephant
legs." Originally, she used tape to hold up her tush, but that was
not comfortable, so she moved to a system of ribbons and wires that evolved
into the Biniki. Now you can raise your rump by going on the Internet
and purchasing your own butt bra for only $29.95. A 23-year-old
Florida man now knows police officers don't necessarily love donuts --
at least not when they're offered as a bribe. Michael Matakaetis was arrested
last week for driving while intoxicated and having an open bottle of rum
in his car. But according to the Martin County sheriff's office, Matakaetis
offered the arresting deputy a stack of Dunkin' Donuts coupons, if the
officer would allow him to park his car and walk home. The cop rejected
the bribe and Matakaetis was taken to jail. Once there, he threatened
the officer saying, "You're gonna get a bullet...You should've let
me go." Hunting for Bambi (turns out this is a hoax) Just when
you think exotic dancing or prostitution is as bad as it gets, an activity
like "Hunting for Bambi" comes along. Michael Burdick is the
mastermind behind the new sport that combines sexual fantasy with violent
aggression. With the establishment set up appropriately enough in the
sin capital of Las Vegas, men are arriving from all parts of the world
to shoot naked women with paintball guns. For the price of a few thousand
bucks, men are taking aim at willing, albeit frightened young females
dressed only in tennis shoes. So what's in it for the women? About $2,500
if they can grab four strategically placed flags inside the game zone
without being shot. Should they end up getting tagged, they receive the
consolation prize of $1000. If you've ever played paintball, you know
how bad a paint-filled plastic ball traveling at 200 m.p.h. can sting.
When one hits bare flesh, it's powerful enough to draw blood. A construction
crew in Phoenix sent to tear down a house demolished the home of Jenny
Lopez (not J. Lo) across the street by mistake. The Arizona Republic writes
Lopez had owned the home for 30 years -- raised her kids there -- and
was about to remodel it until a wrecking ball turned it into a pile of
plywood and tar paper. The wrecking crew even did a number on the carefully
tended trees and shrubs in her yard, Lopez told the paper. The house that
was supposed to be torn down was boarded up and fenced in. It belongs
to Foresight Investment Group of Phoenix, which had purchased it on speculation. Mouse Pelts Make Miniature Rugs A New Zealand
woman who makes miniature houses has come up with a novel way to dispose
of dead mice -- she uses their dried pelts. College English teacher Jeanette
Dungan has been making miniature houses and has always wanted to use dried
mouse skins in her houses to depict miniature goat skin rugs. She was
unable to find anyone to skin and dry the pelts, but recently two teenage
girls have helped with the task and now she is even getting donations
of dead mice, The Nelson Mail reports. She says the mice are skinned,
the pelts are pinned out and sprinkled with baking soda. They are then
soaked with kerosene and left to dry for about eight days and then washed
with detergent. Naked Celeb Files When the
thermometer goes up, some celebrities like to get naked. Jennifer Lopez
says the weirdest thing about her is she likes to walk around naked, the
New York Daily News reports. "I grew up walking around naked in my
house. My Mom was like that, and my sisters ... Now, I'll be sitting at
the breakfast table and everyone's dressed except me," she says.
Colin Farrell admits, "I can be found in my apartment dancing naked.
I like '80s disco." Beverly Hills 213 Magazine reports Jennifer Aniston
and Brad Pitt like to have their Sunday evening meal "au naturel." New York Man Stabbed Over Parking Two men were
stabbed, another is in jail and his boss was slapped with a $20 million
lawsuit -- all over a New York City parking space. Eric Pinzon, 23, on
probation for attempted robbery, had just gotten a job at a Brooklyn moving
company and mistakenly parked his Jeep in a spot assigned to another company.
At the end of his shift the garage was locked so he left his vehicle parked.
Employees at the other company were ticked off at the space being taken,
called to have the Jeep moved, and when Pinzon arrived, he found his tires
slashed. A confrontation ensued, and two men at the other company allege
Pinzon stabbed them, while Pinzon alleges five men attacked him, the New
York Post reports. Pinzon's employer is being sued for hiring an ex-convict,
the Post says. Customers
at Jean Bowyer's bakery in South Carolina enjoy chicken-and-dumpling popsicles,
beef liver, and turkey and cheese flavored cookies. Bower is the owner
of K-9 Union Hall & Bakery, which caters to dogs and the owners that
love them. Other menu items include turkey muffins and canine sushi. Bower
also creates three layered birthday cakes for Fido, baked from corn and
flour meal mixed with liver, and smeared with icing appropriate for canines.
The Union Hall also offers dogs a better social life with birthday parties
complete with dog guests and treat-filled pinatas. Texas Woman Stunned by Nude Inmates A mother
and her two daughters in Plainview, TX received quite a shock while driving
near a prison facility and saw three inmates being strip-searched. The
horrified mother said that the naked trio was out there for everyone to
see. According to the assistant warden, the strip search is routine at
the jail for new inmates and was only visible to the public because a
section of partition had fallen. The mother felt that the searches could
have been conducted elsewhere, away from the public eye. She commented,
"If I look at a naked man, I want it to be of my own accord." A New Zealand
man is building a cruise missile in his garage, just to prove to defense
officials he can. Bruce Simpson runs a Web site, not to provide terrorists
with the plans for a working cruise missile, but to prove the point that
nations need to be better prepared. "I myself knew it would be easy,
but I was stunned at just how easy it was," he tells the Australian
Broadcasting Corp. He hopes to build the cruise missile with legal, off-the-shelf
equipment for less than $5,000. His last project involved building a jet
engine in his backyard and using it to cool his beer. His Web site said
at the time, "The risks should be obvious." Blue Ice Hurtles Through the Skylight Isn't that
a load of crap? Ray Erickson of Santa Cruz sued American Airlines when
one of the company's planes allegedly released two chunks of toilet waste,
which landed, bizarrely enough, exactly on the skylight of his boat. The
two chunks, euphemistically referred to as "blue ice," damaged
his boat when they came crashing down. Erickson tracked down the of- fending
plane and sued in small claims court. He won the suit and will receive
$3,236 from the airline. TAIPEI -
As if by divine retribution, three peeping toms were punished from above
for spying on a pair of passionate lovers having sex in a car. Hiding
out in a broken hut, the three men used high-powered telescopes to watch
the couple from afar. They were so oblivious as they spied that they did
not notice the bolts of lightning flashing in the sky. In an instant,
a bolt struck the hut and sent a super-high voltage current through each
man. All three were hit at the same time, but only survived by equally
sharing the impact. Had there been only one man present, he would have
died instantly. As both the group of men and the young couple realized,
there is always someone watching. A Gator Bite Doesn't Slow Her Down Though she
may have lost her arm, Helen Couto isn't about to lose her lust for life
along with it. Four months after an alligator chomped off her right arm,
the 72-year-old is thankful to be alive and is living life to the fullest.
Doctors were unable to reattach the severed limb, so Couto has been learning
to carry on with a prosthesis. In addition to bowling and golfing, she's
managed household challenges like cutting an onion for chicken soup a
month ago. She tried out a new prosthetic arm designed for golfing at
a fund-raiser and managed to make solid contact with the ball. LONDON -
If you think Britney Spears' breasts look fake now, you should see how
they heave in England. The star's waxwork model at Madame Tussauds in
London will feature a pair of pump-up breasts that will throb in time
with her breathing. A group of lucky experts are fixing attachments to
the singer to make her pole-dancing poses more raunchy. Her breasts will
then hang provocatively out of a skimpy top, inflating rhythmically to
make it look like the singer is breathing heavily. Britney will be the
centerpiece of the museum's new 2m (British) interactive room. It will
also feature a blushing J-Lo and a Brad Pitt with a squeezable butt. Weird Amphibians Found in New York Two months
after a turtle with two heads was discovered in New York's Rensselaer
County, three young girls have now found a frog with no eyes in the same
county. Ashley, Cierra and Taylor Sweet discovered the eyeless amphibian
in a pond and brought it home with them. They put it in an aquarium and
note that it doesn't seem to have a problem finding mosquitoes to eat.
State Wildlife pathologist Ward Stone said that the frog's condition seems
to be developmental rather than the result of trauma or attack and feels
it's unlikely that the damage was caused by chemical pollution. Teenagers
Meg Roberts and Tyler Mickley stick together -- literally. The Virginia
high school students just won a contest for making the best prom attire
using duct tape. The dress and tuxedo, made with white duct tape, are
adorned with black, yellow and red duct tape rays to form a sunburst pattern
when the pair stands together. They also created duct tape wigs to complete
their outfits. After a month and nine rolls of duct tape, the stylish
outfits were finished. The couple agreed that the outfits made for a sweaty
night. However, all the toil and sweat was worth it -- the students both
won $2500 scholarships from the makers of Duck brand duct tape and also
the admiration of their townsfolk. Usually when
parents are concerned about their child's poor grades, they schedule a
parent-teacher conference. When parents of girls at an Indian village
school in Calcutta found out their daughters failed their college entrance
exams, they stormed into the school followed by a herd of cows. The eight
cows, meant to symbolize the low-performing teachers, were brought into
the first floor of the school with signs hanging from their necks reading
"This is a cowshed" and "We will teach here." Surrounded
by cows, school administrators admitted the school did not have the required
number of teachers. The parents responded to this confession with some
hearty mooing. Breast Milk Squirted in Patron's Eye MICHIGAN
-- A dancer at The School House nightclub in Jackson squirted breast milk
into the eyes of a man while she was giving him a lap dance. The woman
had just had a baby and was still lactating. Police investigators planned
to talk to the dancer about the incident. The squirted man was concerned
about getting some type of disease, but since he most likely blinked when
the milk came his way, he doesn't have to worry too much. The club had
opened just a week ago after a long dispute with city officials that ended
with a settlement allowing the club to operate at its present location
for 15 months but not serve alcohol. Would You Like a Radio in Your Tooth? Medical science
takes another leap forward with an invention by Detroit dentist and amateur
electronics wizard Arthur Vandross. Dr. Vandross has built, inside a false
tooth, a receiver similar to a wireless headphone. The receiver, which
Vandross calls a 'Toothman' uses micro-vibrations to turn the wearer's
skull into an internalized speaker. "It's like having Britney Spears
performing inside your skull." said Vandross. The 'Toothman' will
occasionally pick up police frequencies and nearby cell phone conversations,
but Vandross hopes to have these problems worked out eventually. He has
patented his device but has not yet found a patient willing to have his
invention implanted in their mouth. A woman with
an extreme love of vegetarianism is legally changing her name to GoVeg.com.
The woman formerly known as Karin Robertson is now named after a vegetarian
information website to encourage carnivores to give up their meat-eating
ways and become vegetarians. The 23-year-old GoVeg.com is a Youth Project
Specialist for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and says
her new name is a great conversation starter. However, she has had a little
trouble at airports trying to get security guards to believe her when
she shows them her drivers license. She also had her mother worried about
what to do if she got married, but GoVeg.com says her parents understand
how much animal rights activism means to her. She couldn't imagine changing
her name back. "To be named after the number one website for vegetarian
information -- what could be better?" Female Cashiers to Wear Diapers BUENOS AIRES
-- According to a union, cashiers at a supermarket in Argentina are being
forced to wear diapers while they work so they don't have to take bathroom
breaks. Female cashiers must wear adult diapers in case "cold, nerves,
pressure or stress" cause incontinence, union official Jorge Cordova
told local news agency Diarios y Noticias. Cordova would not name the
supermarket, but said the chain is backed by foreign capital. Mendoza's
labor subsecretary, Sandra Varela commented, "The truth is, it's
difficult to imagine a line of 20 adult cashiers wearing diapers for eight
hours. I've never heard anything like this before." NEW YORK
- Though many private schools exist across the United States, a new facility
in the Big Apple is the first of its kind. The city is opening a full-fledged
high school for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students. Named
after the slain gay San Francisco politician, Harvey Milk High School
"will be a model for the country and possibly the world," according
to Principal William Salzman. The school is undergoing a $3.2 million
in city-funded renovations approved by the old Board of Education in June
of last year. It will eventually take in 170 students by September 2004.
A 26-year-old
Fort Worth, Texas, man allegedly assaulted his wife and cut off her waist-length
hair with a sword. Police say Charley Doyal McAdoo IV and his wife had
an argument, prompting the man to kick her out of their apartment. A neighbor
allowed the woman to stay the night in his apartment. The next day, police
say, McAdoo learned where his wife had stayed, and after finding her at
a relative's house, took her to their home where he allegedly sexually
assaulted her, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reports. McAdoo shocked the
woman multiple times with a stun gun, cut her hair into a "sideways
Mohawk," and then told the her to tell police the neighbor raped
and assaulted her, according to police. She later told investigators the
truth when McAdoo was not around, according to police. Off-Duty Steward Runs Naked Through Plane An off-duty
steward for Singapore Airlines gave passengers more than they bargained
for when he stripped naked and frolicked around the aircraft. After throwing
the contents of his wallet around, he spilled a glass of wine over passengers
seated near him and started shouting as he made his way to the bathroom
in the middle of the plane. Crew members could not reach him at first
because they were stuck behind meal trolleys. Once they got to him, they
covered him with blankets and took him to the toilet, where he finally
put his clothes back on. After the plane landed, he was taken to a hospital
and has since been placed on medical leave. San Francisco
resident J. Miller is offering a $2,000 reward for the return of his house.
Miller bought 40 acres deep in the El Dorado County wilderness in California
and erected a prefabricated house on the property. Sometime in the past
two months, somebody stole everything inside Miller's house -- and then
stole the house -- the San Francisco Chronicle reports. Thieves deconstructed
his 10-by-20-foot prefab structure, yanked a well pump from 625 feet below
ground, ripped off his 600-pound generator and hauled away his 2,600-gallon
water tank. Miller's financial loss is $20,000, but mainly he wants his
wife's antique furniture back. Keep Those Crop Circles to Yourself DETROIT -
A Michigan farmer is wishing he'd kept quiet about the crop circles that
appeared in his wheat field two weeks ago. Mike Esper discovered three
of the circles on his land outside Detroit and wasted no time in alerting
the media. He discovered the three circles -- 51 feet, 10 feet and 8 feet
in diameter -- as he drove his combine around the wheat field. Not wanting
to destroy the evidence, he left a 3- to 4-foot perimeter of wheat intact
around the largest circle. "It's an array of humanity out here,"
Wilson said. "You get everything from scientific interest to those
who meditate with crystals," he said of his visitors. Among those
interested is Jeffrey Wilson, a crop circle researcher who said the circles
were not man-made. Wilson cited NASA reports, allegedly describing "sprites
and jets," which are red and blue atmospheric flashes as a possible
cause for the circles. Using Embarrassment as a Teaching Aid MICHIGAN
- A St. Clair County minister who persuaded a 16-year-old boy to strip
down to his underwear claims he did it to discourage him from engaging
in premarital sex. He told investigators he was making a program designed
to keep teens from having sex before marriage. He asked the boy to remove
a piece of clothing after each question he asked him about premarital
sex. The boy eventually ended up in his underwear but refused to take
that off and refused the minister's request to take pictures of him. Two
other accusers have also come forward. The minister says his intent was
to embarrass teens while they were naked so they would remember that embarrassment
and refrain from having sex. ST. LOUIS
-- A Missouri dog that doesn't bark apparently doesn't care to die either
since he survived the St. Louis pound's gas chamber. The dog is believed
to be a Basenji, a breed that doesn't bark. He was dropped at the pound
last week. His owners were moving to a "no-pets" facility, the
St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported. The pound keeps dogs only five days
before gassing them. Tuesday morning, the Basenji and seven other dogs
were sedated, then placed in the gas chamber to breathe carbon monoxide
for 15 minutes. Animal Control workers were stunned to see the dog staring
back at them. The seven other dogs were dead. Workers renamed the dog
Quentin -- for the famous prison -- and are determined to find a family
for him no matter what. Quentin mysteriously shows no ill effects. HOUSTON --
Many a bridegroom has been warned to keep his feet on the ground but there's
no way Yuri Malenchenko can this weekend. The orbiting Russian cosmonaut
will exchange marriage vows with Ekaterina Dmitriev, who will be 240 miles
below on Earth, the Christian Science Monitor said Friday. Col. Malenchenko
proposed before leaving for the International Space Station in April.
The couple initially wanted to marry when he returned to Earth in late
October but the Columbia tragedy made them rethink their plans. "Columbia
reminded them that life happens, and it doesn't wait for us or our plans,"
says Jo Ann Schwartz Woodward, the couple's Houston-based wedding planner.
Russian authorities are not impressed. The future Mrs. Malenchenko became
a U.S. citizen in 1995. The occasional fluke of a groom catching his bride's
bouquet is not expected to happen. Naked Traveler Encounters Difficulty Although
he has been deterred by eight arrests, a naked traveler continues walking
the length of Britain wearing nothing but socks, boots, sunscreen and
a smile. Steve Gough has been walking in the buff to celebrate the joys
of nudity. Throughout his journey, he has undergone an examination at
a psychiatric hospital and many nights in prison. This week, he had to
start over at the beginning after being shipped back to his starting point
by Scottish police after a court appearance in Cornwall. However, he is
determined to carry on his celebration of himself as a human being. Aside
from being beaten up in St. Ives and told by a farmer to "put on
your trousers," Gough said that the public's reaction has been mostly
positive. "Some people have been really enthusiastic," he remarked. Swedish bus
driver Mats Lundgren got in touch with his feminine side in order to keep
his legs cool during the warm weather. Since the company wouldn't allow
him to wear shorts, he slipped on a skirt instead. As he took his place
in the driver's seat, the dark blue skirt went up his thighs just above
his bony knees to reveal a pair of hairy white legs. Lundgren was very
pleased with the way the skirt kept him cool, claiming that it was even
better than shorts. The director of the transport authority was a little
surprised to see him dressed this way, but could do nothing since regulations
made no mention of rules about men wearing skirts. BEIJING --
Imagine you've spent the last six weeks painstakingly stacking dominos
in preparation for the world's longest solo domino topple. You've finally
placed the last domino and breathe a sigh of relief. Then out of nowhere
some cockroaches come along and knock a bunch of tiles over. Poor Ma Lihua
had this happen to her, and she is obviously greatly distressed. She said
one bug managed to knock down 10,000 tiles -- a day's work. Organizers
have put pungent leaves, thought to repel the insects, around the Singapore
Expo hall where Ma's dominos are stacked. Ma has been putting in 13-hour
days, breaking only for meals and the occasional badminton games to help
relieve stress. She hopes to topple 350,000 tiles in the contest to be
held on Monday. Inflatable Bride Has to Go A Brazilian
man killed his parents because they demanded he divorce his inflatable
"bride." He believed a blow-up doll was a human being, considered
it his wife and talked to her. His religious parents demanded he separate
from the doll, but he would not listen. When his mother took the doll
and cut holes in it with scissors, the man strangled and stabbed both
his mother, age 71, and father, age 70. The 44-year-old unemployed man
confessed to the crime after an interrogation by police. "My parents
didn't love me and didn't understand me," he was quoted as saying. Gorilla Prank Fails After a man
wearing a gorilla costume stole a bunch of bananas from an elderly woman's
shop in downtown Hong Kong, the woman chased him with a broom, thinking
at first that he was a ghost. Eighty-year-old Tse Lai slipped and fell
during the pursuit. The man in the gorilla suit, who was not identified,
was hired by a film company to stage the prank. "I didn't realize
that it was a gorilla at first. All I saw was something big and black
with a lot of hair. I thought I saw a ghost so I tried to drive it away
with a broom," said Lai. The belief in ghosts is common among many
Chinese people in Hong Kong. Couple Has Wedding Reception at McDonalds If you want
to get married, but don't have a lot of money to spend on a reception,
you can always do what newlyweds Simon and Paula Hand did -- they held
their wedding reception at McDonalds. The pair ditched the traditional
wedding dinner for Big Macs and fries on their big day. The fast food
restaurant decorated an area upstairs for the wedding party, however,
the love-birds were disappointed that Ronald McDonald didn't make an appearance.
According to Paula, the staff was pleasant and customers offered their
congratulations. The couple had such a good time that they are already
planning to have their first anniversary there next year. Whatever
it was that slammed into a Michigan Road Commission parking lot, it left
a fine crater. "It happened sometime on Sunday when the yard was
locked up and no one was working," road commission spokesman Craig
Bryson commented. "Two workers came in Monday morning and found an
impact crater outside the main garage near the employee parking lot."
Bryson said the object left a 12-inch-by-18-inch-by-3-inch crater in the
lot, which may not seem impressive until one learns that the crater is
in 6 inches of asphalt. "The edges of the crater are seared black,
and there's a fan-shaped debris field spread out all around the site,"
Bryson said. David Batch, director of the Abrams Planetarium at Michigan
State University said: "If this was a meteorite, it was probably
about the size of a fist or larger." BERLIN --
A man was detained by police after he attempted to shower naked in a car
wash in the German town of Fuerth. A police spokesman said that the man
stripped off his clothes and said he was going to take a shower, but he
couldn't start the machine. If he had succeeded, he could have been smeared
in car wax, scalded by steamy water and rubbed raw by brushes. The owner
of the car wash called police after noticing the man gearing up for his
shower near the brushes and hoses. Police said the man had been searching
for a place to bathe since losing his home at the beginning of the month. SYDNEY --
A British family sailing off Australia won't be reading "Moby Dick"
anytime soon after a close encounter of their own. Trevor Johnson and
his family feared for their lives when a 30-foot humpback whale leapt
from the sea onto their boat and slid back into the water with a groan.
Johnson, 61, said he was amazed that no one was killed when the whale
flung itself at them, wrecking the 40-foot boat's mast, sails and rigging.
The family spent two nervous hours drifting towards rocks in force five
winds before being picked up by police. Johnson said the only explanation
the authorities could offer was that they may have inadvertently sailed
between a mother and its calf returning from the Antarctic. Teacher Arrested for Prostitution Teacher Shannon
Williams is due in court after a misdemeanor charge of soliciting prostitution
while on summer break. She learned her lesson when she agreed to have
sex with a man, not knowing he was an undercover cop, and was arrested.
Berkeley school officials confirm she is a teacher in the district. Williams
told the police she is only a hooker during the summer to make some extra
money. She says it is all a big misunderstanding and vows to fight the
charges in court. However, it would definitely make for some interesting
conversation if a student asks her what she did during her summer vacation. A swirling
blizzard on Interstate 80 in Iowa had cars coming to a hasty halt. However,
it wasn't snow that was causing drivers to stop. It was a blizzard of
cash. Money was flying through the air after an armored truck somehow
lost its load on Tuesday night. Vehicles in both lanes stopped and people
scurried to recover the money. Once the truck crew realized the money
was gone, they immediately stopped to try and retrieve it. Three vehicles
east of the cash spill were stopped by police and authorities were checking
to see if the occupants had taken money. Rob Hansen, a spokesman for the
Iowa State Patrol, was not certain whether the money loss was part of
a robbery or some other attempt to steal money from the truck. A Brazilian
man went to a clinic to have an ear ache checked.. and ended up having
a vasectomy. After mistakenly believing that the doctor called his name,
Valdemar Lopes de Moraes entered the vasectomy room when Aldemar Aparecido
Rodrigues name was called. He didn't ask any questions when the doctor
began preparations in the area which had nothing to do with his ear. He
later said that he thought the ear inflammation had spread to his testicles.
De Moraes did not want to reverse the operation and went back for his
ear exam at the same clinic. Ex-policewoman
Stephany Cohen says that she has been chosen by an alien race from a faraway
planet to help the human race increase their knowledge. The aliens contacted
her and she says they give her orgasms at any moment. Cohen says "Grays"
from the planet Cirus D have been assisting humans for thousands of years
but are now ready to take the final step of spiritual and intellectual
fulfillment. She says that Grays communicate through telepathy and can
take the form of humans. The aliens send raptures like strong orgasms,
which are actually energies being passed down to their children on earth.
Apparently, Grays reproduce without intercourse but the sexual energy
they produce is 10 times greater than humans. Impersonator Perv Arrested A 26-year-old
Spanish man has been arrested and charged with impersonating a police
officer after repeatedly interrupting couples in a lovers' lane. Malaga's
SUR Online reported Tuesday the man made a major blunder last week when
he interrupted an off-duty policeman and his girlfriend. A man approached
their vehicle shouting "Police, get out of the vehicle." The
man wore no uniform and a radio could be heard sounding from his pocket.
After failing to fool that couple, the imposter moved on to another couple
ordering them to place all their belongings on the car's hood before frisking
them. At that point, the real police officer decided it was time to intervene
and asked the suspect officer for identification. The man fled in a car,
whose license plates were traced. The unidentified man is charged with
impersonating a law officer, and possession of illegal radio equipment
he used to monitor police frequencies. Parrot Screaming for Help TUCSON, Ariz.
- Police officers and firefighters busted down the front door of a home
after hearing a woman's screams coming from inside. However, once they
entered the home, they realized the sounds weren't coming from a woman,
but rather from a parrot's imitation of a damsel in distress. Oscar, the
two-year-old Amazon parrot, was found by police making laughing and screaming
sounds as he sat in his cage. The confusion began after a 911-hang up
call was made from the house and police arrived to find the home locked
with bars on the windows. Crews used a pry bar and a battering ram to
get through the door after hearing what they thought was a woman's voice.
Although it is still a mystery who made the call, the parrot is off the
hook since he doesn't know how to use the phone. What is a
firefighter's secret to good health? Well, for Paisit Chanta, a firefighter
in central Thailand, keeping the doctor away involves eating a worm a
day. He has consumed one live worm every day for almost three decades
and feels this is what has kept him in good health. Paisit's strange eating
habit began when he was fishing in his native village. "One day,
I was sitting there waiting for a fish to eat my bait for hours and was
starving. Suddenly, I realized fish don't die from eating worms so I shouldn't
either. I ate them until I was full," he said. Now, he loves the
wriggly creatures and even chews them instead of swallowing them whole.
He often digs for his lunch in the area near the fire station where he
works, despite the fact his co-workers find his habit strange and disgusting.
Man Survives Skull Drilling A California
man is being called "Miracle Man" after being drilled through
the head. Truckee resident Ron Hunt was using a drill over his head when
his ladder started to wobble. He dropped the 18-inch long drill -- with
a 1.5-inch bit -- on the floor and then fell head first onto the drill,
the Nevada City Union reports. The drill went through his right eye and
out his skull. Hunt had surgery to remove the drill. He lost his eye but
does not seem to have suffered any brain damage from the impaling. Hunt
says the most difficult part of the whole episode was not being insured
-- he was a subcontractor -- but family and friends have been holding
fundraisers. Kama Sutra Via Cell Phone Latin lovers
who are bored with the same old sexual positions can now receive a helping
hand. A Brazilian telephone company is sending animations of sexual positions
based on the Kama Sutra directly to customers' mobile phones. For only
99 Brazilian centavos (21 pence), customers of Tele Norte Leste Participacoes'
wireless arm Oi are able to download one of 40 different animations along
with a brief explanation and level of difficulty. If demand warranted,
Oi believes it could double the number of animated positions available.
Each graphic comes with the warning that the content is for adults over
the age of 18. Not surprisingly, The Rio de Janeiro-based company is one
of Brazil's fastest growing cellular phone operators. Man Trapped in Women's Toilet WELLINGTON,
New Zealand -- Some of life's experiences are best not talked about --
such as a man being trapped for 18 hours inside a women's toilet. The
Wellington Dominion Post reported the unidentified man answered "nature's
call" Saturday evening but found the men's public toilet near the
Petone Public Library was locked. So he used the women's toilet. The problem
arose when a night watchman locked the toilet door, unaware the man was
inside. It wasn't until the next afternoon -- 18 hours later -- that passersby
heard his cries for help and bolt-cutters were used to release him. A
police official told the Post the man was quite "relieved" to
get out but not too keen about discussing his experience. Wedding Guest Bites Off Finger An unruly
wedding guest bit off part of a man's finger during a reception in Corunna,
Michigan last Friday. Michael VanStrate, an invited guest, caused altercations
and arguments with several of the guests. Although he was asked to leave
several times, he kept coming back. After smearing cake on a 9-year-old
boy's face, the boy's father came to his rescue and had his finger bitten
off during the struggle. The bridgroom then intervened. Police said that
VanStrate later elbowed a 49-year-old woman, temporarily knocking her
out. He was arraigned Monday on two counts of assault, one count of aggravated
assault and one count of simple assault. He remained in custody after
District Judge Ward Clarkson set bond at $25,000. Doctors were able to
reattach the guest's finger that was bitten off in the scuffle. Courtship and Wedding by Phone OSLO, Norway
- A man and woman met by cell phone text messaging, fell in love over
long telephone conversations and picked out their wedding rings while
conversing with each other long-distance from jewelry shops in two cities.
What's the next step for Grete Irene Myrslett and Frode Tangedahl Stroemsoe?
Naturally, getting married in a phone booth. That's exactly what they
did last weekend in a ceremony and honeymoon cruise sponsored by Norway's
state-run telecom, Telenor ASA. Myrslett and Stroemsoe began communicating
last year through SMS Flirt, a mobile telephone messaging service for
singles. They ran up $1,481 in cell phone bills within one month. To save
money, Stroemsoe, with no regular telephone, waited outside a phone booth
every night at 11 p.m. to talk to Myrslett. They planned to wed and even
picked out their rings before they even met in person. Wedding invitations
were via SMS, and drew about 100 guests to Saturday's ceremony. AUSTRALIA
- A woman was given a caesarean section at Royal Darwin Hospital after
suffering stomach pains. The only problem? She wasn't pregnant. Doctors
performed the emergency procedure only to discover that there was no baby.
They stitched the woman up and she was discharged several days later.
Hospital superintendent Len Notaras said the woman told ambulance officers
she was 38 weeks pregnant. She was given an ultrasound to confirm if she
was pregnant and it was then she went into cardiac arrest. After she was
resuscitated, the doctors decided to go ahead with the C-section to "save
the baby." The doctors believed that the woman had a "pregnancy-related
hypertensive" disorder because of her high blood pressure. Italian Church Used in Porn Film ROME - A
church in central Italy might have to be reconsecrated now that police
have discovered it had once been the location for a pornographic film.
A resident had watched 'Il Confessionale" ("The Confessional
Box"), and recognized the setting as the church of San Vicenzo's.
He called the police who, on closer study of the film, confirmed his suspicions.
The local priest said the film crew told him that they were using the
church to shoot a wedding scene. The actual scene incolved a man dressed
as a priest having sex with a woman playing the bride. A priest from the
nearby Gioia dei Marsi said that under church law, all the services held
in San Vicenzo since the film was shot in 1998, would have to be re-blessed. Boy Injects Himself With Atropine HONOLULU
- Seventh-grader Trendon Amuzie was hospitalized Monday after he accidentally
injected his thumb with the nerve-gas antidote atropine. The gas is used
by the military to protect soldiers from chemical nerve agents. "It
made me jittery, my heart was beating faster and I was very nervous,"
Amuzie said. The Health Department doesn't know where the vial of atropine
came from. Officals found several medical syringes, medicinal vials, and
children playing among the dangerous waste in the area. The Army National
Guard said it is not possible that the military would have accidentally
dumped the waste in the backyard of a Waipahu apartment complex. The Health
Department is contacting the city to clean the dump area. OKLAHOMA
- It all began with a challenge from a country radio station. Free concert
tickets were offered to the town of Agra if it renamed the city to Viagra.
Last Friday, it did. The city council voted unanimously for the change
and a sign bearing the new name was erected early Friday morning. Resident
David Watkins thinks that it is an appropriate change: "Yes, people
are horny here, they really are," he commented with a chuckle. However,
like the pill, the name change will not last for long. The Viagra police
will once again be the Agra police on Saturday. Since the town lived up
to the challenge, all of the Viagra residents are getting a ticket to
Saturday's country music concert in Tulsa. The mayor hopes the publicity
will increase attendance at the town's 100-year celebration next spring. When Your Ex-Husband is Your Daddy LONDON -
In a bizarre tale of twisted love, a Scottish woman has become her ex-husband's
step-daughter, the London Mirror reported Tuesday. The newspaper reported
how Alison Smith served as a bridesmaid as her ex-husband married the
woman who ruined her marriage -- none other than her mother. Smith said
she gave her blessing to cheating George Greenhowe, 21, and his 44-year-old
lover, Pat, even though she caught them in bed together just 10 days after
her own wedding in November 2001. "At first I was disgusted,"
20-year-old Alison admitted after the ceremony Monday. "But I gradually
fell out of love with George and realized how happy he and Mum were. On
the morning of the big day, Alison -- who says she has already started
calling her ex-husband "Dad" -- helped Pat get ready. Alison
added: "Mum makes George happier than I did." MELBOURNE
- Estranged Australian couples are giving one another the evil eye electronically
with spy cameras hidden in toys. As an increasing number of couples split
and have visitation rights with their children, a growing number are electronically
monitoring those visits, the Melbourne Herald Sun said. The teddy bear
cams feature a pen-sized camera that peeks through the nose, eyes or a
button, although not just bears are capable of snooping. Victorian Detective
Service general manager Mark Grover said the soft-toy spy cams are custom-made
and cost up to $600. Couples are also hiring private detectives to watch
each other during custody visits. "Often they want you to follow
a person the night before access starts to check if they've gone to the
boozer or are using marijuana," Grover said. Angle Grinder Man to the Rescue When in London,
if you find your vehicle in a clamp, do not fear. Just pick up the phone
and call the Angle Grinder Man. Wearing a baby-blue spandex jumpuit, shiny
gold panties, gloves, cape, boots and googles, the Angle Grinder Man comes
to the rescue with a huge, metal-cutting power saw that will cut through
the wheel clamps that are used to immobilize illegally parked cars. All
clamped motorists must do is call AGM's hotline and out comes the superhero
to saw through the brace and release the car. He offers his "free
clamp-removal service" to "all good, decent law-unabiding people"
who wish to fight back rather than pay to get their car released. His
hotline is advertised on his Web site, and his voicemail box has been
full since the press learned about him. When two
Bronx girls came to school in jeans rather than their uniforms, principal
Marina Bernard Damiba made them wear trash bags to class. Damiba called
the garbage-bag skirts she made the sixth-graders wear "Damiba fashions"
and said they weren't meant to be embarrassing. "It was more of a
fun way to say, 'Listen, guys, wear the uniforms.'" The mother of
12-year-old Christina Zuniga, one of the girls who wore the skirts, at
first felt the punishment was "really wrong." However, after
she talked with the principal, she said that her daughter "got a
lesson out of it." The school's uniforms consist of a polo shirt
with the school's logo, and khaki, black, gray or navy blue pants or skirts
that are at least knee-length. Woman Finds Human Tooth in her Soup A Utah woman
found something that didn't belong in a bowl of Campbell's chicken soup:
a human tooth. She discovered the tooth when she gave the soup to her
13-month-old son last year and is now afraid to eat soup. Tina Keeney
contacted Campbell last summer to report the tooth, but did not send it
in case it got lost in transit. Keeney and her attorney, Daniel Irvin,
took the tooth to a dentist who specializes in identifying teeth. After
taking a look at it, the dentist identified it as a molar that came from
a teenager. Irvin said, "We're seeking unspecified damages. My client
is worried about blood-borne disease, and also for shock. Now she's afraid
to eat soup."
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